Cartoon Characters, Dogs Take Over Broadcasts

By Brian Powell
Each Monday morning, we will post a recap of the weekend’s broadcasts, along with a “MNF” recap on Tuesday mornings as well as a weekend preview every Friday.
ABC Employs Animated Friend To Announce Lineups
To everyone’s surprise, ABC called on a couple of famous University of Colorado alums to introduce the Buffaloes’ starting lineups this past Friday. During the first quarter of the Nebraska-Colorado game, ABC unveiled South Park’s Cartman as the one who’d do the introductions:

’Countdown’ Continues to Be Shoddy
Picking apart ESPN’s Sunday and Monday “Countdown” teams is a hard job, but someone has to do it. And by “hard,” I mean “ridiculously easy.”
They continued to stumble through their painfully long programs yet again this weekend.
Emmitt Smith is still seeing time at starting analyst and continues to falter every weekend. During a segment on which coaches should be thankful and for what, Smith stated that Browns’ coach “Romeo Cornell” should be thankful for Derek Anderson.
The real Browns’ coach Romeo Crennel could not be reached for comment.
Worst Announcing of the Weekend
The worst call of the weekend came from ex-NFL Quarterback Steve Beuerlein during the Bengals-Titans game. Nearing the end of the 2nd quarter, Titans’ running back LenDale White picked up an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for kneeing a Bengals’ player after a late tackle.
Coming back from break, Beuerlein didn’t realize they were live on-air and had this to say before Bill Macatee jumped into save him: “USC thugs, man.“
Best Quotes From the Weekend’s Telecasts
“That rear end is up in the air he’s ready to go hunt!” - Chris Spielman on Hawaii DE David Veikune’s stance
“Florida State has a chance to win this game by outscoring the Gators.” - Lee Corso stating the obvious
“And that’s Miami’s first first down of the season.” - Pam Ward making up stats
“If you’re going to under throw the ball, you have to do it short.” - Ed Cunningham
“I like that because you’d have to slow it down to supersonic minus warp speed to say you have a catch.” - Randy Cross trying to explain a reviewed Antonio Gates catch
“Neil Rackers is three-of-seven from beyond 50-yards this season. Four of those misses have been from 50-yards plus.” - Ron Pitts making the math work during the overtime loss for the Cardinals
“Don’t kick to Devin Hester. Do they receive game film west of the Rockies?” - Keith Olbermann not realizing that Denver is on the East side of the mountain range
Sideline Reporter of the Week Who Didn’t Actually Report Anything
ABC’s Bonnie Bernstein had a moving piece on Uga the Georgia Bulldog. It had everything from him talking into the mic to her explaining the dog’s eye condition that causes him to have redness in the area:

The piece was obviously pointless and came at a pivotal point of the game. A Georgia player was ejected during her “interview” and the viewing public never received an explanation as to why. They pretended like nothing happened and instead we got another shot of Bonnie and Uga.
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