The Anti-Mitchell Report

By Chris Mottram
As Senator Mitchell pointed out today, “everyone involved in baseball over the past two decades -- commissioners, club officials, the players’ association and players -- shares to some extent the responsibility for the steroids era. There was a collective failure to recognize the problem as it emerged and to deal with it early on.”
I’d first like to thank the gentleman from Maine for taking several years to conclude the obvious. Second, I’d like to say that everything in his report should be taken with a boulder-sized grain of salt as much of it is hearsay.
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This doesn’t happen often, but it’s about to so get ready: We’re putting a positive spin on the Report by creating our own. Sure, there were a few dozen active players called out by Mitchell, but the overwhelming majority of players were not.
After an exhaustive investigation we have concluded that none of the following active players bear any responsibility for the steroid era as there is no evidence that any of them ever took performance-enhancing drugs.
In alphabetical order:
David Aardsma CWS P Andy Abad - LF Glenn Abbott - - Reggie Abercrombie HOU CF Brent Abernathy - 2B Winston Abreu - P Michel Abreu - 1B Tony Abreu LAD 3B Bobby Abreu NYY RF Jeremy Accardo TOR P Juan Acevedo - P Jonathan Aceves - C Manny Acosta ATL P Ron Acuna - OF Russ Adams TOR 2B Skip Adams - SS Glenn Adams - - James Adduci - OF Nick Adenhart - P Jon Adkins CIN P Jeremy Affeldt - P Chris Aguila - LF Darrel Akerfelds - - Brian Akin - P Jonathan Albaladejo NYY P Marco Albano - 2B Matt Albers BAL P Izzy Alcantara - LF Scott Aldred - P Ryan Aldridge - P Cory Aldridge - OF Mark Alexander - P Manny Alexander - SS Jason Alfaro - SS Antonio Alfonseca - P Eliezer Alfonzo SF C Edgardo Alfonzo - 2B Luis Alicea - 2B Nicholas Allen - P Brandon Allen - 1B Luke Allen - OF Neil Allen - -
Read the rest of the Anti-Mitchell Report
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