MNF Recap: ‘High School Football’ Not Entertaining

By Brian Powell
Pregame:
Monday Night Countdown got us started in the evening with a TON of talk about the Cowboys loss to the Eagles on Sunday. Keyshawn Johnson took the first opportunity to say that Terrell Owens was distracted by their tiff in the media and that Jessica Simpson didn’t help either. For as annoying as it was to hear her name a thousand times in the past two days, she sure knows how to get the media’s attention.
Stu Scott has officially been out for a month and every week Sal Palantonio says that he’s recovering well. Well, it doesn’t seem like it Sal. That’s a long time to be out just from an appendectomy. Chris Mortensen broke the news that Roy Williams was suspensed for breaking the “Roy Williams Rule,†and it’s looking like Dallas might actually have to play their starters against the Redskins in Week 17.
Countdown closed on a pretty boring piece on Adrian Peterson’s new Nike commercial, and Chris Berman sent it to Mike Tirico for the first half. But not before an amazing intro from John C. Reilly:

During The Game:
The turnover riddled first half was pretty uneventful and the only truly exciting moments were the great directional punts away from Devin Hester. Jaws started the game by hyping Tavaris Jackson and Adrian Peterson of the Vikings, but as the two started slow he seemed to back off his praise. Tony Kornheiser used this to pick on him most of the third quarter as the Vikings’ duo couldn’t muster any offense. Purple Jesus was held to basically nothing for the second straight game, but pulled off two late second half TDs to help your fantasy team. As long as Jackson is the Vikings’ QB, teams are going to do what the Bears did and just put eight in the box and make Jackson beat them with his arm.
Kornheiser made a point to bring up the fact that Donovan McNabb would look great in one of these uniforms next year. If the Eagles do decide to get rid of him, I’d be inclined to agree.
Overall, this was one of the worst games I’ve ever watched from an offensive standpoint and the booth gave me nothing to keep me entertained. I really wished I was watching anything else by halftime. But of course, I kept watching because that’s my job.
That’s the main problem with this trio. If the game itself isn’t exciting, they give you nothing.
Best Quotes:
“You don’t watch the cheerleaders when you’re on the sidelines. You pay attention to the game.”- Steve Young on Kyle Orton’s role as a backup
“The Bears’ Peterson: a journeyman running back.”- Mike Tirico not realizing that Adrian Peterson has actually played for one team
“Did I see Will Ferrell’s name in there?”- Tony Kornheiser on all of the Bears QBs since Jim McMahon
“What we’re seeing is offense being set back about ten years with tonight’s play.”- Ron Jaworski
“Welcome to Monday Night Football where Kyle Orton and Brooks Bollinger are your Quarterbacks.”- Tony Kornheiser
“If this is inbounds, they’re looking for a new punter.”- Ron Jaworski on punting to Devin Hester
Video Clip of the Night:
Steve Young sums up these two offenses in one sentence:

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