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Come Fan with UsSaturday, June 20, 2026

FirstCuts: Carl Against Mitchell Report, Bloggers

By Chris Littmann
Sports don’t start and end with a referee’s whistle. FirstCuts, a blog dedicated to sports culture, will cover everything outside the lines, from the games to the gear. Look for expanded FirstCuts content after the New Year.
Last week, Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force gave us the only logical take on Michael Vick, or as he so eloquently referred to him, Mike Vick-tim. Now, he’s back with some thoughts on the Mitchell report.

You tell ‘em, Carl! Let he who hasn’t injected the extract from a grizzly bear’s pituitary gland straight into his belly button cast the first stone.
These are genius. Thank you, Adult Swim. I’ve got new required Monday viewing each week. Will Carl be working next Monday on Christmas Eve? This seems like something I should share with my family. Now I’ve just got to find that blog with the Derek Jeter-Whitey Ford rumor. That seems like someone we should hire.
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Chris Littmann is an associate editor for Sporting News.↵

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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