You, Too, Could Be Hawaii’s Next Coach

By Spencer Hall
Care to be Hawaii’s next football coach? Well, we know John L. Smith does, but what do you care about the former Michigan State coach, anyway? I’m looking at you and how unhappy you are in your dead-end job, sitting there wasting time on the internet. Why should Hawaii waste its time on a retread coach when they could tap the resources of someone who really wants the job--namely, you.
[img=http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2091/2183921834_729f083351_m.jpg]
My perfect job? Yeah, you go ahead and take it, man. Photo credit: AP Photo/Charlie Riedel.
Luckily enough for you, the job is posted and open to the public. Polish up the resume, and be sure to include the following:
[quote="From WorkAtUH.edu:"]Duties: Under administrative direction, Coach is responsible for planning, administering, and evaluating the overall operation of the intercollegiate football program to include, but not limited to, academic achievement of student-athletes, recruitment of qualified prospects, supervision of assistant coaches and other staff assigned to the program, compliance, program management (eligibility, scheduling, travel, budget, equipment), and student-athlete welfare. [/quote]
If you don’t have any of these, just make it up. It takes them years to find out if you lied, and even if they do, you could still coach at a start-up program in central Florida. Trust me--it’s been done before.
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