This Is Apparently Important: Dismiss Barry

Each day, there are stories within the sporting world that we are bombarded with even though the average fan probably doesn’t care. Here is where we mock those stories.
By Chris Mottram
Here’s the extent to which the common fan cares about performance enhancing drugs in baseball: They don’t. You know who does? ESPN. And Congress. I assume this is because it gives them both something to talk about, but really, I have no idea.
[img=http://aycu04.webshots.com/image/41403/2003343049080134388_rs.jpg]
So, of course, anytime anything about PEDs comes up, it leads SportsCenter and finds itself atop every major sports sites’ headlines (Yes, even ours here at SportingNews.com). This was the case yet again yesterday when “news” broke that Barry Bonds asked for his perjury charges to be dismissed. Roger Cossack’s phone rang and the news was dictated to us.
So – because this is apparently important – here are the details. Bonds was charged in November with perjury for allegedly lying to a grand jury about using PEDs. Now Bonds wants those charges dropped because the indictment – and I can’t make this up – is “‘scattershot’ and noted for its ‘striking inartfulness.’” Scattershot? Inartfulness? Did we just go back in time 400 years?
Later, when asked about the judge, Barry added, “Me thinks he stinks thou beslubbering knotty-pated lewdster.†Strong words indeed, my liege.
> Bonds Wants Purjury Chargers Dismissed | Sporting News↵