Kellen Winslow Is Disappointed You Didn’t Call

I will tell you that in the world of courtesy, I am an outcast. You will not get a thank you note from me, because they don’t get written. Your birthday, it will be forgotten, and the RSVP will not be sent, because I always lose the paperwork. This is not because I don’t care, but because I am disorganized and probably doing something very, very important instead of taking all of these little petty love tests some people call “caring.”↵↵On the behalf of all people like me, I just want to make this clear: we care. Also: we find people like Kellen Winslow really, really annoying.↵

↵↵⇥“I heard from Romeo Crennel and I heard from my position coach (Alfredo Roberts) when I was in the Clinic. I heard from my teammates,” Winslow told the (Cleveland) Plain Dealer. “But I never heard from the main man -- Phil Savage -- and that really disappoints me. Sometimes I don’t even feel a part of this team.”↵↵Please notice that Winslow notes before this that he heard from teammates, his position coach, and Romeo Crennel ... but not GM Phil Savage, who despite the efforts of the guys he actually works and plays with every day is the only person who can take the poor, neglected heart of Kellen Winslow and make him feel like “a part of this team.” Without Savage’s soothing voice in his ear saying, “I’m sorry our filthy locker room gave you a staph infection,” the trees look less beautiful, the skies less blue ... even the sounds of children’s voices playing in the park bring Winslow’s empty heart no joy. Kellen can’t live without you Phil, and you don’t even care.↵↵He’s so heartbroken that like Maverick in Top Gun, he’s just gonna get on a motorcycle and ride around by himself trying to figure things out, man. (Into a curb. While popping a wheelie. And take himself out for the season. To show how much he cares for his teammates. Because he’s a soldier.)↵

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