Larry Johnson Is Quite the Ladies Man

As you may have noticed, the Chiefs did Larry Johnson the favor of suspending him from their debacle against Tennessee this past Sunday. The reasoning was that he broke some sort of team rule. As it turns out, the rule that he broke can be found on page 13, section 4, line 18 of the Chiefs Employee Handbook: Threatening to kill a man and spitting in his girlfriend’s face in the same night can, and most likely will, result in suspension. ↵↵Here’s the full story, according to the accuser:↵

↵↵⇥Ashley Stewart, 24, told police she had left the nightclub in Kansas City’s Country Club Plaza district but re-entered around 1:45 a.m. to find a friend. [Larry] Johnson, who had tried to buy her a drink at the same club a week earlier, asked the friend to have Stewart come over, according to the police report. ↵⇥↵⇥Johnson got close to Stewart while swinging his arms belligerently, then said, “All I wanted (to) tell you is I’m going to kill your boyfriend,” the report said. ↵⇥

↵⇥↵⇥Johnson kept talking to Stewart and spit the drink in her face after she backed away, the report said. ↵⇥

↵⇥↵⇥Stewart told police that Johnson’s bodyguards then tackled her and that bouncers from the club escorted her outside. Johnson tried to spit on her three more times while walking to his car after the club manager asked him to leave, the report said. ↵⇥

↵↵Oh, that LJ -- he’s such a hopeless romantic, but he just can’t seem to get it right. See, he got the part about whispering sweet nothings into the girl’s ear correct, but missed the memo on not threatening homicide while doing so. Johnson needs a session with Mystery, the original Pick Up Artist. He’ll teach him how to seduce insecure drunk women with lies, black fingernails and aeronautical-inspired goggles! No need to spit in their faces. ↵↵Really though, I find LJ’s conduct a little hard to believe. When I met him in Arizona, he didn’t even threaten to kill me once. Although he did encourage that I sell crack in order to afford a watch similar to his. ↵

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