Tim Tebow Continues to Be Haterade-Repellent

I’m a confessed, dye-in-the-scales Florida fan, and I will confess something: I’d really, really like to hate Tim Tebow. I would. As it stands, I hate most people like him anyway. He’s clean, he’s physically gifted, he appears to get along well with his family, children, old people, and anyone else who comes his way, and he spends his offseason doing mission work in impoverished areas of the Philippines. He also does all that other stuff I can’t seem to do for three days straight, much less every day: bathing, working out, and sitting in a church once a week without fighting the urge to scream in the middle of a service or falling asleep.↵↵He’s Ned Flanders to my Homer, and like Homer, I really, really should despise him despite his status as my team’s quarterback. Yet ... he’s Teflon to my greasy miasma of hate. Every attempt I’ve made not to like him slides off like so much grease off a well-treated frying pan. He let LSU fans calling him on his private phone and leaving unspeakable messages slide off his back; he signs autographs happily, and despite living in an intense fishbowl of scrutiny seems to let things come as they may. It would be annoying if he weren’t so impressive and consistently nice about everything, including his pick for the Heisman Trophy, where he’s openly stumping for ... Colt McCoy?↵

↵↵⇥Tebow, who could become the first player since Ohio State’s Archie Griffin in 1975 to win consecutive Heismans, said Monday that Texas quarterback Colt McCoy is his top choice right now.↵⇥↵⇥“Being smart and just looking at guys who are having a good year, he obviously is someone to look at and would probably be my top guy I’d vote for right now,” Tebow said. “He’s playing extremely well and doing a great job leading his team and handles it with a lot of class, too.”↵⇥

↵↵See what a proper hater has to work with here? Nothing. What the interviewer doesn’t mention here is that Tebow interrupted the interview, but only to help an old woman across the street and sign five autographs politely on the way back. Stupid Flanders!!!
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↵[/shakes fist, eats another donut]↵