Applying the Science of Dancing to Athletes

Dr. Peter Lovatt of the University of Hertfordshire in England believes he is onto something: not only do women look at the length of the fourth finger relative to the middle finger, your ear size, and the symmetry of your features to determine attractiveness, but they also look at your dancing as well. Specifically, Lovatt believes women like what he calls small to medium movements with just a hint of randomness to them. To demonstrate this, here’s Dr. Lovatt himself, who is obviously quite the sex machine:↵

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↵If you’d like the full video you may watch it here, where Lovatt not only demonstrates precisely what he means by small, medium, large, simple, and complex dancing, but also confirms your suspicions that British people cannot and should not dance. We at The Sporting Blog wondered: where do some of our athletes and their fine touchdown dances fall into this Darwinian hierarchy? After the jump, we analyze examples of sports-related dancing and put them in their proper categories. Remember: this is science, and cannot be argued with at all.↵
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NBA Dance-Off featuring Shaq, Lebron, and Dwight Howard: Medium to Large, Coordinated with Random Elements. Shaq demonstrates the greatest diversity of both dance size and coordination. Have his babies, ladies: they will be strong, and with a good lawyer, very rich.↵

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↵CGI Jerry Jones: Medium, coordinated, containing many random elements. Also fake, but being a zillionaire probably mitigates this pesky fact.↵

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↵Kelly Washington: Large, coordinated, many random elements. Clearly is the love bandit, and must make up for it in other departments.↵

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↵Dancing Jam Cam Guy: Large, kind of coordinated, many many random elements.↵

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↵Failed backflip guy: One large, awful, uncoordinated, and random movement. Not even really a dance at all, but a sort of dare gone horribly wrong. Nevertheless, will probably somehow reproduce and pass his genes on with the help of cunning, guile, timing, and the magic of alcohol.↵

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