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So, What You’re Telling Me Is That Deuce McAllister and Will Smith Are Bulimic?

Oct 24, 2008, 7:15 PM UTC

Oh, the Saints are soooo gonna be in trouble with The Commish when they get back from England:â†µâ†µâ‡¥New Orleans Saints’ Deuce McAllister and Will Smith have reportedly tested positive under the NFL’s steroid policy as a result of taking water pills to lose weight, according to FOX 31 out of Denver. â†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥A highly-placed NFL source told the television station there have been “a rash of positive tests” for NFL players. “There are about six to ten overall positive tests. Three to four of them are from the Saints organization alone including McAllister and Smith,” the source said. â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥The number of players who tested positive is more than 10 and may exceed 15, two sources told ESPN’s Chris Mortensen.â†µâ‡¥

â†µâ†µWater pills? Not exactly the HGH scandal that rocked Major League Baseball. I’m not familiar with water pills, so naturally I turned to Wikipedia, which is basically like consulting the smartest medical professionals in the universe, but free. And what say Wiki? This:â†µâ†µâ‡¥Diuretics [medical speak for “water pills”] are often abused by sufferers of eating disorders, especially bulimics, in attempts at weight loss. â†µâ†µKids these days, with their pee pills. I remember the good old days when we used to just stick a toothbrush down our throats in order to fit into our skinny jeans. â†µ

â†µI’m kidding, of course. Bulimia is a very serious disease, which is why I have reported the entire Saints locker room to A&E's Intervention. Jeff VanVonderen ain’t nothin’ to mess with. â†µ

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