[Editor's note: This was written before we knew the game was postponed, again. Regardless, you may still apply these lessons tomorrow night.]
Survival Guide: How to Get Outta Philly Alive
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Surviving an emergency comes down to a combination of thorough preparation and rapid action in the face of danger. I mention this in order to help those caught in a Philadelphia Phillies victory celebration tomorrow night, or those caught in the inevitable riot ensuing if the Phillies somehow blow their lead in the World Series and lose to the Tampa Bay Rays.↵
↵↵Philly’s mayor has suggested fans be “joyful and enthusiastic” but not to do “anything stupid.” To prepare for the eventuality of that “something stupid,” we’re here to help.↵
↵↵A number of helpful resources may be found to help you survive the impending Philly “celebration,” but we’ll summarize: avoid crowds, stay aware at all times, and ditch any NY Giants insignia you may be wearing. Also, follow the instructions of the Worst Case Scenario guide, and be sure not to attract attention by moving quickly:↵
↵↵⇥Do not run. Unless your life is in imminent danger, walk. A person walking is harder for the eye to detect -- the human eye can quickly sight someone running. Running also can generate excitement--people may chase you. If you must travel by car, be prepared for evasive maneuvers.↵↵Not that many Philadelphia sports fans who would tip a car over or actually riot would be able to catch you, but as a favor to them, avoid making their hearts work any harder than they have to in this scenario. The idea is that we all make it out alive, rioters and riotees alike.↵↵If you see the Phanatic coming after you with a brick in hand and a mad gleam in his eye, though, surrender immediately. Once he gets your scent, you’ve stamped your ticket to hell. Your only chance is playing dead and hoping he loses interest.↵
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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.
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