General

But Does He Paint Women With Beards?

Oct 30, 2008, 3:20 PM UTC

I would bet good money that this is not the first time John Daly has fallen asleep drunk in a Hooters. There is simply no way in a near 30 year career of heroic drinking that Daly has not passed out in not just Hooters, but in many fine establishments including TGI Friday’s, Applebee’s, and at least one Outback Steakhouse. (You know, after a particularly fancy meal.) In my own drinking career I’ve fallen asleep on the table at a Waffle House at least twice; if I’ve been there, then the accomplished imbiber Daly must have his own reserved seat in a Waffle House somewhere.â†µ

â†µSo, for those of you unfamiliar with Daly or drunks in general, it's not really a story. What is a story is anything making fun of Colin Montgomerie, the choleric and portly Scottish golfer locked in a lifelong battle with Vijay Singh for the title of "World's Least Likable Man to Make a Living Playing Tiddlywinks-on-Grass." The Scottish National Galleries wanted a custom portrait of Montgomerie to celebrate his accomplishments, so they contacted Jack Vettriano, a renowned portrait painter. He had one problem with the proposal. Edit: He had two problems with it, to be specific.â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥According to reports, he said: “I was in France when I got a call from my art dealer who said there might have been a breakthrough. ‘The National Galleries would like you to do a portrait’.” I said: ‘Who?’ ‘Colin Montgomerie’.â†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥“I said: ‘I’m afraid that the answer is no. I don’t do men with breasts. And I don’t mean that as unkind to Colin Montgomerie’.” â†µâ‡¥

â†µâ†µNo, that’s not unkind at all, Jack. By the way, it is October 30, 2008, and Colin Montgomerie has still not won a major championship. That is all.â†µ

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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