Death Knows Not Where Clint Malarchuk Lives

Former NHL goalie Clint Malarchuk can now add “shoot self in the face” to his checklist of horrible injuries that would end the life of a lesser man. Previously checked off of said list: “slice jugular vein open with knife-like object,” a mission he accomplished back in 1989 while tending goal for the Buffalo Sabres. You probably recall that incident as it’s not easy to forget seeing a gallon of blood spew from a man’s neck onto a clean white surface. ↵↵But back to the face-shooting thing. It happened at Malarchuk’s home in Nevada on Tuesday in an apparent hunting-related accident:↵

↵↵⇥Officers were dispatched to the Malarchuks’ home at 2:30 p.m. Tuesday after his wife reported her husband accidentally shot himself, according to reports. When deputies arrived, the paper said, he was sitting on a bench next to a horse tack storage room, bleeding profusely from his chin and mouth. ↵⇥↵⇥Malarchuk’s wife said when she arrived home from work her husband was in the backyard, and said he had been shooting rabbits with a .22 rifle. She said Malarchuk stood and placed the rifle butt on the ground between his legs and the rifle discharged, striking him in the chin. ↵⇥

↵⇥↵⇥He reportedly was belligerent with paramedics and with health center staff, refusing treatment.↵⇥

↵↵Before we get too carried away with heaping praise on Malarchuk for being some sort of treatment-refusing badass, let’s keep in mind that a .22 rifle is basically one step from a BB gun. I’m not even sure the thing could kill the rabbits he was shooting. Take a 12-gauge to the grill, Clint, and then we’ll talk. Actually, I believe “12-guage to the grill” is next on the checklist, right before “jump into pool of gasoline, light match” and “stick your head inside a wood chipper.” ↵↵Oh, and because I know you’re concerned, Malarchuk did eventually make it to the hospital, and as far as you know, he’s just fine. ↵

↵↵(H/T: Puck Daddy)↵

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