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FreeDarko Presents The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac: Buy it ... Now

Nov 11, 2008, 7:25 PM UTC

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If you’ve spent any quality time on the internet over the past few weeks, then there’s a decent chance you’ve seen both bloggers and

real

writers alike discussing

The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac

. The book is a unique look at today’s NBA through the lens of the game’s biggest stars and oddballs, complimented by masterful illustrations and statistical analyzes you’d never imagined, such as a comparison between Tim Duncan’s numbers and the Fibonacci sequence.
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â†µAnd it also happens to be co-authored by The Sporting Blog’s own Bethlehem Shoals, along with the rest of the FreeDarko Collaborative. Here’s part of their description of Macrophenomenal:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥Whereas past sports-literary endeavors have attempted to paint sports as a metaphor for life or life as a metaphor for sport, we depict the National Basketball Association as a universe unlike any that one would encounter in daily existence. The NBA is a sphere in which Indiana farmboys, housing project messiahs, African tribesmen, and escapees from war-torn Eastern Bloc countries, coalesce by the nature of their superhuman physicality.â†µâ†µYou can read many of the book’s reviews for yourself, or you can just listen to me when I tell you it’s outstanding. And I don’t like the NBA. I can’t even watch an entire game, yet I can thoroughly enjoy

The Macrophenomenal’s

essay on Leandro Barbosa, for example, a player I don’t care about, and honestly, have never had much interest in watching play the game of basketball. Yet this book makes his story, style, and speed interesting to me, the non-fan. And if it speaks to me, it will no doubt speak to the diehards, as well.
â†µâ†µBut I’ll let you form your own judgments. Here are some excerpts from two of the essays. â†µ

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â†µâ†µFirst, from Tim Duncan: “Mechanical Gothic”: â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥While other players wind-sprint throughâ†µâ‡¥the season, Duncan marathons, going deepâ†µâ‡¥into the playoffs year after year. While hisâ†µâ‡¥foes throw their hearts and minds into theâ†µâ‡¥thick of competition, Duncan stands at a remove,â†µâ‡¥his every action rich with intent. Hisâ†µâ‡¥brain operates with the dull precision of theâ†µâ‡¥TI-83 calculator. Can Duncan feel pain? Heâ†µâ‡¥has faced his share of knee and foot injuriesâ†µâ‡¥over the years, yet they have slowed him onlyâ†µâ‡¥as an oil leak slows a robot. Does Duncanâ†µâ‡¥love? His wife, Amy, a former Wake Forestâ†µâ‡¥cheerleader, conveys a forced plastic smile inâ†µâ‡¥public appearances, suggesting that not evenâ†µâ‡¥she knows. Do the concepts of free will orâ†µâ‡¥consciousness mean anything to him? If so,â†µâ‡¥he does not experience these capacities as youâ†µâ‡¥and I do. Referee Joey Crawford once issuedâ†µâ‡¥a technical foul to Duncan simply for laughingâ†µâ‡¥while on the bench; Crawford more thanâ†µâ‡¥anything was probably startled at Timmy’sâ†µâ‡¥capacity to display human feeling. In his eternal drudgery, Duncan moves forward with aâ†µâ‡¥single purpose, as though preprogrammed toâ†µâ‡¥achieve the sole end of winning. Cognition,â†µâ‡¥emotion, intention -- all are merely incidentalâ†µâ‡¥to the goal at hand.â†µâ†µ

And from Gilbert Arenas: “The Court is a Carnival”: â†µâ†µâ‡¥In spite of his All-Star appearances andâ†µâ‡¥playoff heroics, Arenas somehow remains theâ†µâ‡¥eternal underdog; he’s one of the league’s mostâ†µâ‡¥visible young stars, yet hailed mostly as a cultâ†µâ‡¥figure. While Arenas exudes humor and glee,â†µâ‡¥his triumphs are pure acid, revenge against aâ†µâ‡¥basketball establishment that has continuallyâ†µâ‡¥done him wrong. At this point, his goofballâ†µâ‡¥reputation seems like an elaborate, highconceptâ†µâ‡¥taunt. The world sees him as a fool,â†µâ‡¥but this fool [messes] up his opponents like heâ†µâ‡¥was the baddest man on the planet. Gilbertâ†µâ‡¥Arenas knows that people underestimateâ†µâ‡¥him; he’ll take advantage of this on the courtâ†µâ‡¥and in the media, using slights as table settingsâ†µâ‡¥at what amounts to an endless coming outâ†µâ‡¥party. There are streamers on the wallsâ†µâ‡¥and cake, but about half his guests end upâ†µâ‡¥watching from a stretcher.â†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥[…]â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥Few moments in his career captured thisâ†µâ‡¥quality as perfectly as Game 6 of the Wizards’â†µâ‡¥2006 playoff tangle with the Clevelandâ†µâ‡¥Cavaliers. With the Wizards down by threeâ†µâ‡¥points, facing elimination, and staring atâ†µâ‡¥ten seconds left to rescue their season, Arenasâ†µâ‡¥nonchalantly dribbled down the courtâ†µâ‡¥and launched a three from at least five feetâ†µâ‡¥behind the line. It was not a quality shot, itâ†µâ‡¥left time on the clock, and almost nothingâ†µâ‡¥about it made sense. But it sent the game intoâ†µâ‡¥overtime -- where Arenas, normally an effortlessâ†µâ‡¥free throw shooter, bricked two key onesâ†µâ‡¥that handed the ballgame to the Cavs. For anyâ†µâ‡¥other baller, this would be an agonizing medleyâ†µâ‡¥of grace and shame. For Gilbert Arenas, itâ†µâ‡¥was just something that happened.â†µâ‡¥

â†µâ†µVisit the book’s website for much more information, including these excerpted essays in their entirety (legally, we were limited to 500 words in this space*). And visit Amazon, or your local bookstore, to buy your copy -- or one for that special somebody on your holiday list.â†µ

â†µ*Excerpted words by FreeDarko, reprinted by permission of Bloomsbury USAâ†µâ†µ

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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