VA Tech Linebacker Fills Out His Comment Card

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↵Are you aware that Virginia Tech is really good on special teams? And that their coach is named Frank Beamer, and when you combine the two you may call it “Beamerball?” Good. You’re now qualified to call a game on ESPN, who beats the “Beamerball” trope to death on a regular basis.↵↵Defense and special teams being their hallmark, Virginia Tech teams usually get their offense overlooked, and boy, that’s probably a good thing right now. Virginia Tech’s offense is 109th out of 118 ranked offenses in Division One football and spit flames and spare parts from its undercarriage last week against Miami. They are quite used to the defense and special teams carrying things in Blacksburg, though, and you should expect no complaints from the defense. No, none at all.↵

↵↵Unless, you know, they complain about it in a newspaper.↵

↵↵⇥“Pretty much every team we face this year knows what we’re going to do” on offense, [linebacker Purnell] Sturdivant said. “I have a couple friends at Carolina, a couple friends at N.C. State, things like that, they’re pretty much just calling out the plays that we’re going to run on offense. Our offense is pretty much predictable. You know what you’re going to see each and every week.”↵↵

It’s mostly true, and backed up by VT’s own players at this point: their offense is both atrocious and predictable. Try calling out the plays for yourself at home, and turn it into a drinking game for you and your friends to make it a bit more bearable. Ineffective motion and stunted run on first down: drink! Two-yard scramble by Tyrod Taylor? Drink! A rare appearance of VT’s five-wide diamond formation that either goes for a screen to the overload side or a QB draw? Drink five times.↵↵Add more rules at the risk of shutting your liver down by the third quarter, but with the latest dip in the Hokies’ performance even that might not be a guarantee. They ran just six plays in the third quarter against Miami last week. Beamer refused to discuss Sturdivant’s comments, for the record, preferring to focus on the need to win against Duke. Given the recent performance of the offense, this is an excellent policy.↵

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