Captain Corey Pavin Bleeds Ryder Cup

Corey Pavin was announced today as the captain of the 2010 U.S Ryder Cup team, which will be trying to defend the Cup successfully for the first time since 1993.↵↵Pavin, 8-5 lifetime as Ryder Cupper, wasted no time in making it clear that he’s very, VERY into the Ryder Cup.↵

↵↵⇥“The Ryder Cup is in my blood,” he said at the press conference. “I think if you cut my arm open, Ryder Cup would just bleed out.”↵↵Dah ... what was that? If we cut your arm open, the Ryder Cup would come out of your arm? That’s ... dude that’s really weird. Even Homer Simpson wouldn’t say something that stupid. I mean, I’m all for a certain level of ignorant fanaticism in our Ryder Cup captains, but do we actually want a deluded monomaniac who thinks he has the Ryder Cup in his arm? ↵

↵↵“Yeah, yeah, suddenly there would just be a huge puddle of Ryder Cup on the floor, and even though I’d be dying and that would be bad, it would be good too because everything would suddenly smell like Ryder Cup, and my shoes, oh, my shoes would be COVERED in Ryder Cup ... my shoes would be so lucky ... I’d be trying to bend down to lick all that good Ryder Cup off my own shoes but I’d be so weak I’d probably just fall over and then I’d be wallowing in all that sweet, sticky Ryder Cup ... maybe I should just do it, maybe I should do it RIGHT NOW ... just free all that delicious Ryder Cup from the prison of my arm ... it’s so unfair that it’s trapped in there ...”↵

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