Chad Johnson Remains Blissfully Ignorant

The Bengals have won one game this season (don’t forget about that tie, too!), which is about all you should need know with regards to how successful they’ve been. They’re an awful, awful team, and the franchise is in shambles. It’s even spawned a revolution.↵↵All of this, however, doesn’t faze ... well, you know who it doesn’t faze:↵

↵↵⇥“I am Chad Johnson. I wear 85 and I’m very, very good at what I do,” said Ocho Cinco, reminded then of his new surname. ↵⇥↵⇥“Yeah, I’m that guy, too. So therefore the numbers will always be what they are. One down year means nothing. ... Yeah, we’re going to bounce back. You want me to guarantee it or just say it? We’ll bounce back.”↵⇥

↵↵Let me try to decode Chad’s logic here. Alright, he is both Chad Johnson and Chad Ocho Cinco, therefore his statistical output will never change. Yet he admits that his 50 catches so far this season constitutes a “down year,” which means the numbers did change. This is also odd because he is so “very, very good” at playing football. I’m confused, which is weird ‘cause Chad usually makes so much sense.↵↵But don’t worry Bengals fans: Chad Johnson says this team is going to be just fine next season. If that doesn’t help you rest assured that you have nothing to worry about, then I simply don’t know what will.↵

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