If You Want Derrick Coleman’s Stuff, Well You’re in Luck

↵FanHouse tells us about the sale of the century: Derrick Coleman is practically giving away all of his earthly possessions at an extreme discount. SherwoodStudios.com is advertising the “Derrick Coleman Estate Sale,” in which items such as bedroom sets, upholstered furniture, and “many custom pieces by the finest makers” can be yours for 75% off current retail price.
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↵In my nascent domestic life, I have come to understand “estate sales” to occur when someone dies. When you’re trying to get rid of your crap, it’s a “garage sale.” When you just need to make a little dough and you might be selling some nice things, you call it a “yard sale.” And when you die, your gold-digging kids hold an “estate sale.” I think this is in the Constitution, actually. By all accounts, D.C. is alive. He’s just not doing so well. Stop the lies, Derrick! This is no estate sale.
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↵The liquidation of Coleman’s life only serves one real purpose, however: It scares the snot out of Michael Beasley. Practice harder, or get ready to sell everything in 20 years, Beasley.↵