Welcome to Alabama’s Fail Room

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↵Alabama football, you earn a plus one. Not only did you make the SEC Championship game, beat Auburn, and earn the ire of hack sportswriters everywhere by paying your coach a salary equivalent to the GDP of the very smallest of island nations, but you earned a blackbelt in awesome when considering what to name after football booster James Fail.↵↵The visitors locker room at Bryant-Denny Stadium will now, after some generous donations, be known as “The Fail Room”.↵

↵↵That noise we hear better be you clapping at this monumental achievement in pregame bitchcraft. Ironically, Fail had a long and successful career in finance, joining Florida team physician Pete Indelicato and adult film star Richard Short in the Club for Men Who Succeeded In Spite of Their Names. Houndstooth-patterned hats off to you, Crimson Tide, for turning Fail into success. This Alabama Slammer’s on us.↵

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