Sooners Down to Only One Unstoppable 1,000 Yard Rusher for the BCS National Championship

DeMarco Murray, the Oklahoma Sooners’ dynamic 1,000+ rusher, will miss the national title game on January 8th with a ruptured hamstring. The hamstring was merely diagnosed as a bruise, but an MRI revealed it to be ruptured. This is comparable to your doctor saying you might have a fever, and then coming back and telling you you have an inoperable brain tumor. Medical science remains fun.↵↵Murray’s injury only proves that offense remains an unbeatable NES game of an offense, since this leaves the Sooners with just one 1,000 yard rusher in the backfield, Chris Brown. Kill one boss, another bigger, badder one pops up behind it, and there is no cheat code to get around them. Their third-stringer, Mossis Madu, averaged 7.6 yards a carry and gained 114 yards in the Big 12 Championship game. If you’ve ever played the legendarily difficult Nintendo game Battletoads, you should be experiencing deja vu, since Madu is pretty much the unbeatable jumping speeder level you get to only after beating two impossible levels already.↵

↵↵The good news: should Oklahoma suffer further injuries and be unable to continue, Texas has graciously offered to step in and play the national title game for them. That’s nice of them.↵

↵↵(A side note: I still get tremors and PTSD flashbacks at the very mention of Battletoads. It was to my video game playing adolescence what Moby Dick was to Ahab, and it brought me to the point of tears on multiple occasions with its impossible jumps, mind-bending speed, and reaction times an epileptic in full seizure couldn’t hack. I will die thinking about this game’s complete and total impossible-ness. End geek confession.)↵

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