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Come Fan with UsSunday, June 21, 2026

You’d Pay to Watch Joey Porter Wrestle a Robot

F1 champ Lewis Hamilton was going race fellow Brit and cyclist Chris Hoy on a short track this week in London -- Hamilton in his car, Hoy on his bike. But to the dismay of fans of man versus machine contests everywhere, inclement weather prevented the race. A shame, really, since there aren’t enough man versus machine contests these days; you have the Connor family versus Skynet, Kellen Winslow versus motorcycles, Ben Roethlisberger’s unbreakable skull against car, and that’s about it for the moment.↵
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↵Not that there couldn’t be more of these, of course. I’d pay heavily to watch the following in particular:↵JOEY PORTER VS. THE BIG DOG. One unstoppable DARPA-funded robot. One unbreakable linebacker capable of giving 60 minutes of effort. Strap a ball to the Big Dog’s back and watch the fun begin!↵

↵↵⇥↵⇥↵⇥↵⇥↵⇥↵⇥↵↵

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↵If paying Joey Porter to wrestle an unstoppable headless 165 pound mule-bot and yell “who’s the big dog now!” after knocking it flying across an icy pond is wrong, I don’t want to be right.↵

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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