Football Recruiting: My Girl Got a Girlfriend

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↵Texas fans are bent over

on the recruitment of blue-chip defensive tackle Jamarkus McFarland, and justifiably so. You wouldn’t want football recruits thinking college football recruiting was a literal hellstorm of sex, free booze, and women “romancing” each other for the enjoyment of high school players, would you? That’s the last thing we can see 18-year-olds wanting out of their college experience.↵↵And yet, according to an English paper Thayer Evans quotes in the article, that shocking approach is precisely what McFarland experienced while on a recruiting visit! STAND IN HORROR AND SURPRISE, DEAR READER!↵

↵↵⇥“I will never forget the excitement amongst all participants,” McFarland wrote. “Alcohol was all you can drink, money was not an option. Girls were acting wild by taking off their tops, and pulling down their pants. Girls were also romancing each other. Some guys loved every minute of the freakiness some girls demonstrated. I have never attended a party of this magnitude.”↵↵McFarland concludes, in his own words, that Texas might not share some of his values, but let us be fair: if Texas recruiting trips involved mere wanton sex, that would be one thing. This involved girls “romancing” each other, an entirely different thing together. I’m sure wine, roses, the playing of a Robin Thicke album, and many reassurances of each other’s beauty and attractiveness were involved, which makes it all okay in our book. In further evidence that athletes’ lives are far, far cooler than yours will ever be, the only romance I encountered on my unofficial visit as a scholarship player for the Florida English department was between me and seven Miller High Lifes, which ended with the nausea drinking seven beers on an empty stomach will give an unseasoned 18-year-old.↵