TSB Fashion Beat: Carcass Is the New Black

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↵You know what I look for when I’m searching for a hat to wear when I’m outside in the cold air at an outdoor winter sporting event? The same things you value in a fine hat: fit, warmth, price, and whether I’m going to be mistaken for carrion by passing birds or not. And the answer to that last issue, if you’re wearing the Bridger Mountain Man Coyote Fur Hat, is a resounding “yes” according to satisfied internet consumers.↵↵⇥The only reason this hat did not receive 5 stars is due to the fact that I was attacked by a bird thinking it was wounded prey while I was out for a walk. ↵↵The Bridger Mountain Man Coyote Fur Hat may be the only piece of clothing PETA may throw blood on and actually improve its overall look, as it appears to be little more than a well-preserved coyote hide you wear on your head. There’s a bonus to this, though, according to the reviewer:↵

↵↵⇥Not only does it keep the back of my head warm but you can wrap the legs around your face to block the wind.↵↵This could also be done with any piece of random roadkill you could pick up on the side of the road, but you’d have to gut it and clean it yourself, and that’s a problem. Plus, the Bridger Mountain Man hat is a coyote, and there’s no telling what you’ll be wearing if you go the roadkill route. (“Hey, Ted, is your hat made of ... um ... a golden retriever?”)↵↵It also doesn’t stink, according to the reviewer, who says he’s planning on buying one for his wife. If that ain’t love, nothin’ is.↵

↵↵(Remember, carcass is the new black. If you’d like to order one of these, contact Jim Zorn of the Redskins, who can whip one up for you sometime in the next week or so.)↵

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