Detroit Lions Fans Would Be Happy To Fight

The Lions are bad! [Insert joke here!]↵↵That out of the way, the Lions are a group of living, breathing football players who are suffering from a unique side effect of pitiful attendance: silence. Lions players claim they can hear every single thing hecklers say, and you’ll be shocked to find out that they don’t like it very much when they hear what Lions fans have to say. This may explain why Lion Dominic Raiola flipped off the crowd on Sunday, something he did in response to hecklers.↵

↵↵Regret, he can not haz it:↵

↵↵⇥“I don’t take one thing back,” Raiola said Monday. “I’ll say the same thing to a fan that I see in the street. I wish I could give my address out to some fans. I’ll do that.↵⇥↵⇥“But, you know, I can’t. Nobody plays with fists. Everybody wants to play with metal. So I can’t.↵⇥

↵⇥↵⇥“I’m so frustrated. I’m tired of being a doormat for people to just talk to us how they want to talk to us. I’m just not going to put up with it anymore.”↵⇥

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Raiola does have a point: for lack of a better word, it sucks to be heckled at work. He’s also paid handsomely for the privilege, however, so applying a compress of hundred dollar bills to his wounded heart should help ease the anguish he feels. There is another point, however: you should never say something about a player that you would not say to their face. Based on the evidence offered by Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson’s playful interaction with Pistons fans a few years ago, Detroit fans are not only happy to do this, but will actually throw down with you, Dominic. (With disastrous results, but still: this is a matter of principle.)↵↵Might want to remove the bags from the head first, Lions fans. They limit your vision, and once your airway is caved in it will just get in the way of the paramedics performing the emergency tracheotomy you will undoubtedly need after expressing your opinions to Raiola face-to-face. This post sponsored by your friendly local personal injury attorney.↵

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