Ronaldo Knows How to Rehab a Knee

Ronaldo, the Brazilian striker with the wickets for teeth, a penchant for showing up overweight for the World Cup, and until this year soccer’s most famous Ronaldo, knows how to rehab a knee. What does it take? A good surgeon. Alternating ice and heat. A devotion to stretching and recuperative weight and resistance work.
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And, of course, prostitutes.
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↵Ronaldo was questioned in an incident at a Rio hotel involving transvestite prostitutes who accused Ronaldo of trying to buy drugs. Ronaldo did not deny hiring the hookers--prostitution is not illegal in Brazil--but says he did not know they were transvestites, and that the hookers (plural) attempted to shake him down after he found they were extra special lady types.
↵↵⇥The AC Milan striker told police he offered to pay the transvestites anyway, but before he left one of them allegedly asked for $30,000 to hide the story from the media.↵⇥Nogueira said he believed Ronaldo’s version because the transvestite decided to leave the police station even before being fully questioned by authorities.↵↵Ronaldo just wants to make this clear: when it comes to using prostitutes, he is strictly a heterosexual “John.” As long as we’re all clear on that, he really needs to get back to...um...“rehabbing his knee.” With women, mind you.
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↵(The picture is of one of the prostitutes, a Mr./Ms. Andre Luis Ribeiro Albertino, according to the AP. Bonus points are awarded to the already awesome score for this story for having a pic of one of the transvestite prostitute involved making “air quotes.”)↵