Our National Timbersports Shame

The Colbert Report has their own Spor(t) Repor(t), and as usual Colbert sees the problem when no one else does: our nation’s sad regression into mediocrity in the all-important world of the Stihl Timbersports competition.
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↵“Try deadlifting your nation out of the North Atlantic, Iceland!” Superb work, except for one thing: Iceland’s entire plan to cope with global warming

, with the MetRX World’s Strongest Man competition serving as a cover for the development of Iceland-lifting talent. Don’t tell anyone: it’s a secret.↵