Chris ‘Birdman’ Andersen’s Long, Winding Road

Who among us really knew, or now want to know, the Birdman? Chris Andersen is one of those athletes where you can’t tell if you should laugh or cry. One thing’s for sure: His long road to, away from, and then back to the league is a feel-good↵story that might not totally bore you. Even though it’s been anti-climactic↵and totally his own fault.↵
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↵Don’t believe me? Check out the Leader’s sprawling piece on all things Andersen. No, they don’t get the big scoop on what drug he did. But there’s tons of poignant/loony stuff on his background and attitude. Makes him out to be Marshall Mathers starring in Brewster McCloud. With a dash of Less Than Zero, if it took place on public transit. Oh, and did I mention it’s mostly through the eyes of the eyes of his feisty, forlorn, devoted, and kind of crazy mother.↵
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↵Happy belated Mother’s Day!:↵↵⇥Andersen was drinking more than ever. She felt like a stranger in her son’s home. Then one day Linda reached her breaking point. One of Andersen’s friends was playing a little too roughly with Andersen’s girlfriend and began choking her with a scarf. Adrenaline surged through Linda’s veins. Her protective maternal instincts took over. She grabbed the guy and put him in a headlock.↵⇥
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↵⇥“I told him I ride Harleys and I tote guns and you don’t want to be messin’ with me,” she says. At that point she decided that she’d had enough.↵↵

↵This is supposed to be a story of gratuitous loss and shaky redemption, but honestly, I just came away thinking the Birdman’s destiny always was. . . I don’t know, a long ESPN feature about his stressed-out mom, his endless parade of hair styles, and $1000 bar bills for a D-League call-up. He flew too close to the sun because otherwise, he wouldn’t have flown at all. Just like a hustle player who blows out his knee and gets a hearty pat on the back. Through their misfortune, the universe becomes a stronger place.↵
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↵Plus, Chris, would it kill you to make your moms happy? This major media outlet just published a big feature on how you’re a screw-up who broke her heart. But she still believes in you. Talk about manipulative ... I mean Chris, do the right thing and send those flowers. And make sure you follow up shortly thereafter. God bless you all.↵