Cheese Is Dangerous: Alert E:60!

E:60, investigate now! What is this dangerous sport of “downhill cheese-wheel racing?” What is it telling our youth about life? How is it corrupting them with its promises of moldy, muddy downhill glory? Are they being upfront about the lasting injuries it can give its contestants? And can we get at least five thoughtful reaction shots of Jeremy Schaap tiliting his head during an answer?
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↵You’ll have to wait on the biting investigative report from ESPN’s finest combo color/black and white news show. In the meantime, reality will have to do when it comes to your Gloucestershire Cheese Rolling Race coverage. The following happened.
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↵1. People gathered at a pub. For “courage,” you know.
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↵2. They went to a hill. ↵
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↵3. This happened: ↵

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↵4. 19 people were injured, including a winner who flung himself upside-down across the finish line. Note: flinging yourself updside-down across the finish line NOT the ideal way to finish a race, unless we’re talking about NASCAR, in which case it is the ONLY way to finish a race.
↵↵In conclusion, English people are insane. Thank you, and good luck and good night. ↵

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