Hey Oscar, Please Pick On Someone Who Is Even Remotely Close To Your Own Size

Obviously, Oscar De La Hoya is scrambling for a big money opponent to fill out his fall and winter dance card after the surprise retirement of Floyd Mayweather last week. Myself, I’m on record as saying that I sincerely doubt the sincerity of Money May-Not’s retiring gesture, and find it hard to believe it’s anything but a grandiose moment’s worth of brinksmanship negotiation. Every haggler knows that if you want to get the best price, sometimes you have to put your wallet in your pocket and walk away from the table.
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↵But look - wasn’t it just a month ago that Floyd was insisting that his uncle and trainer, Roger Mayweather, NOT train Stevie Forbes for Stevie’s fight with Oscar because it would be “taking money out their pockets”? This does not sound like the machinations of a man considering a withdrawal from the spotlight.↵↵But whatever. For the moment, the Golden Boy has to proceed as if his Golden Goose has taken his eggs and gone home, and thus Oscar is desperately seeking another bird to cook in September. ↵

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↵↵Hatton, thank Jeebus, has declined the invitation, saying that it would be too soon after his recent lackluster sparring session with Juan Lazcano. Which has to be the lamest excuse ever offered in the history of boxing – “sorry, but I can’t fight the biggest star in the sport for the biggest money I’m likely to ever see in my life because three bloody months isn’t enough time for me to get ready, innit?” Me, look - Oscar calls me tomorrow for a fight this Saturday, I’m there. I went six rounds with the bag this morning. I’m fit as a fiddle. You hear that, Oscar? I’m ready for your rich ass any old time.↵

↵↵But fair enough, Ricky Fatton, fair enough. Your best weight is 140, and Oscar is gigantic even when he fights at 150. Plus, Hatton makes ridiculous money even when he fights journeyman. Our (Their) Ricky could fight a sack of potatoes in Manchester and fill a football stadium. What does he care about taking a beating from Oscar for gigundous money when he can make very respectable money fighting that one-handed Rastafarian of note, Paulie Malignaggi?↵

↵↵The real dilemma for Oscar is this – finding a fighter who he can beat who will also make for a stupid-money PPV-worthy attraction in September. His trainer, Daddy Floyd, isn’t helping much on that score, coming out publicly this week and saying that the best opponent for ODLH now that Lil Floyd is off the scene is the winner of July’s Cotto/Margarito throwdown. Now, Oscar already has said that he’ll fight the winner of that bout, and even think about getting down to 147 to do it, but here’s the thing – odds are he won’t win that fight, no matter who it turns out to be. And Oscar wants to fight twice more this year. So if he takes on, say, Cotto in September and drinks a big can of asswhup, what call is there going to be for him to fight again in December? And who exactly would he fight then? Sergio Mora? Me?↵

↵↵When you get right down to it, Floyd’s retirement has really wreaked havoc on Oscar’s farewell tour, something I have no doubt that Floyd is acutely aware of. ↵

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