Everywhere I look it’s being billed a “classic comeback,” but let’s call a spade a spade already -- that Lakers’ fall-on-their-sword routine last night was a choke on the highest order of chokitude. Doesn’t crack my Top Five All-Time Biggest Single Big Game/Tournament/Match Chokes, but it’s probably top 10. They were flailing like flounders out there. Here’s my highly unscientific top five in descending order, with apologies to the greatest choker of modern sport, Greg Norman:↵↵5. Cubs in the 2003 NLCS - I know right off the bat people are going to argue against the Cubs in ’03 over Buckner and the Sox in ’86. Grant me this - it’s a very tough call. Two snakebitten franchises, obviously, and yet while the Red Sox blew a 2-run lead in the 10th inning of an incredible game that would have won them the World Series, the Cubs blew a 3-run lead of a game that was all theirs and proceeded to give up 8 runs in a single godforsaken inning. I don’t know, the Cubs thing was just uglier to me on the whole. ↵
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↵↵3. AC Milan blows a 3-0 lead to Liverpool in the ’05 Champions Cup Final - Ditto the above sentiments for the Italian club here, and it’s bloody worse for them than even that Oilers chokejob because this is football, mate, the real thing innit, and you’re ITALIANS for pete’s sake. Pack in the defense already like you’ve done since time immemorial and take home the cup.↵↵
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↵2. Jana Novotna coughs up a lung at the ’93 Wimbledon final - Oh lord this was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. This is the very essence of choking right here – up 6-7, 6-1, 4-1, 40-15 in the Wimbledon final and then, oh my god, how do I hold a tennis racket again? What am I doing out here in front of all these people? This is not my beautiful car… this is not my beautiful life… Jana would go on to suffer such a crisis of confidence that she won like two more points in the match. Steffi Graf took the next five games while Novotna sprayed shots every which way but loose. Then to cap it off, Jana wept like a schoolgirl on the Duchess of Kent’s shoulder. It was literally like watching a human being go insane in the space of about 20 minutes. ↵↵↵1. Three words - Van de Velde - Bad as Novotna was, though, this was worse. I mean, this is a professional golfer here needing double bogey to win the British Open on a not particularly challenging par-4 and he spits the bit in about the most ridiculous fashion imaginable. By the time he had his shoes off and he was tip-toeing down into the Barry Burn I was pacing in front of my TV with my hands on my face like I was watching a horror movie. A couple years later some enterprising European TV station had Van de Velde go back to Carnoustie and play the 18th with only his putter. He made a 5. Guy had a sense of humor about it all at least.↵↵
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