How to Seduce the Ladies, By Justin Gimelstob

Maybe you don’t understand how to relate to the ladies, and lack the kind of pimp juice glands a major celebrity like Verne Troyer has. (If you do something on video, it will end up on the internet. This is something you must never forget.)
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↵Let Justin Gimelstob help you, then, with his handy instructions on how to slick it up like Usher with the ladies. Justin! Live mike! Turn that smooth loose, brah!
↵↵⇥‘Female tennis players lack the social skills, they don’t go to high school, they don’t go to parties,’ he said.↵⇥He said that while he did not fancy Kournikova - ‘she has a great body but her face is a five’ - he was attracted to other players.↵↵Stop, Justin! They are all taking their clothes off at once and charging the computer! Don’t you understand, this is A MAC! IT IS EXPENSIVE AND LIBERAL! I can’t vote for Obama without it! Seriously, don’t start telling me what you think of Anna Kournikova, or what you’d do to her in a match...↵
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↵↵⇥Asked if he hated her, he replied: ‘Hate’s a very strong word. I just despise her to the maximum level just below hate.’↵⇥Mr Gimelstob, who is due to play Kournikova in an exhibition mixed doubles match in Washington next month, then said he wanted to hit her hard with the ball in the midriff when serving at her.↵⇥‘If she’s not crying by the time she walks off the court then I did not do my job,’ he added.↵↵OH MY LORD IT’S A RIOT OF LADYLUST! GIMMELSTOB, STOP YOU MAD GENIUS YOU!!!↵
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↵(Seriously: Gimelstob had to apologize, because ladies really do not, in fact, like it when you talk this way about them, and they will attack you in packs. Just

if you don’t believe us.)↵