Spain Enters Drunkenness In Skivvies

Leave it to the Spanish to correct us all on proper celebrations. The Italians have no idea how to properly celebrate a soccer win, an illiteracy in gloating shown best when one Italian player at the World Cup, too moved for words, simply dropped his pants at midfield in ‘06 and stood there at midfield in his undies. ↵
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↵Now, the Spanish? They understand celebration. Proper celebration isn’t just dropping your pants like the neighborhood perv; no, it’s merely the first step in a regimen of debauchery, which should transition quickly into champagne spraying of anyone and everyone in the locker room. This includes any expensive television equipment around and the good-natured Spanish version of Tim McCarver, who unlike McCarver takes the whole thing well and does not seem to be confused by the lights or the trick of opening doors with knobs. ↵

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See? Running around in your underwear is just a start, and it’s good to see the Spanish setting a proper example. Add in the immortal Spanish cheer: ↵
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↵Roughly translated: “Go Spain! We’re going to get plastered!” Spain will be closed for the next month and a half. We apologize for the inconvenience. If you have any Spanish-related emergencies you need to have taken care of, please contact Portugal, who will do their best to help you before grabbing their ankle, rolling over in agony, and begging for a penalty kick in the box.↵