Kentucky Receiver Dreams of Slapping His Fiancé, Getting Ass Kicked By Quarterbacks

If you’ve been reading TSB the last couple days, and I know you have, then you’ve seen Spencer’s observations, photos, video, etc. from SEC Media Days. All his work has been outstanding, but he’s freakin’ fired for missing this one. Good thing one of our Campus Watch bloggers – Michael McCall – was on the scene as Kentucky wide receiver Dicky Lyons Jr. recounted to the media a very strange and disturbing dream he had last night:↵↵⇥“I’ve been having these creepy dreams about [my fiancé] leaving me. ‘Cosmo’ says it’s natural to have these dreams. But I’ve been having these dreams that she’s leaving me, and this other dream the other night, I went out, and I’m following her, right, because I’m having suspicions. ↵⇥↵⇥“So then I find her at this bar, and I go up to her and I’m trying to talk to her. I said, ‘What are you doing?’ And she’s like, ‘I just don’t want to marry you.’ I’m trying to shake her, and slap her out of it, and I’m like, ‘Focus!’ And I slap her, and then I turn around, and Matt Stafford punches me in the nose. Matt Stafford goes, ‘You don’t hit women.’ And then all of a sudden their backup quarterback who is now at Delta State, Blake (Barnes), he comes hitting me and then I’m like fighting off all these quarterbacks, (Brian) Hoyer from Michigan State, all the guys who I was at with the Manning camp started jumping in. I did pretty well because I was biting them, I was twisting their arms, I knew all these Army Ranger tricks in my dream. I mean, it was just crazy. I was laughing about it. I texted [Stafford] and said, ‘I’m dreaming about you.’” ↵⇥

↵⇥↵⇥Lyons added that Stafford never responded. ↵⇥

↵⇥↵⇥“I don’t know if he likes me that much,” Lyons said. ↵⇥

↵↵Well, Dicky, if Cosmo says it’s normal than it must be true. Strangely enough, I believe slapping your fiancé can also be found in their latest list of “how to get everything you want (in bed)”. Not that I read Cosmo. I never find time between all those

re-runs and US Weekly showing up on my doorstep every seven days.↵