Not Just a College Football Coach, But a Sensitivity Coach, Too

Hal Mumme is a genius of a football coach. You don’t end up at New Mexico State without being a genius, in fact. Mumme once coached at Kentucky, but after haters chased him out for innocuous things like “losing” and “violating NCAA regulations,” he knocked around until getting a gig with New Mexico State Aggies, where he’s continued to throw the ball 70 times a game, but without Mike Leach’s pirate flair. Oh, and the winning. He’s also missing the winning part of the Mike Leach magic, too. ↵↵Mumme’s made up for it in other ways, however. For instance, he provoked a lawsuit from three Muslim players and got the ACLU to investigate the school. He’s also got an unparalleled combover, and never punts in bounds. We call that style, and there’s no price tag on that, reader. ↵

↵↵He also has a great eye for coaching talent. Sarcasm disarmed; this part’s actually true. Mumme-alums include Texas Tech coach Mike Leach, current Auburn offensive coach Tony Franklin, and Georgia Southern coach Chris Hatcher. The guy has an eye for coaching talent, at least on the offensive side of the ball, though his talents have grown to include defensive coaches, too.↵

↵↵Check out the fine defensive work done by Barris Grant, the Aggies linebacker coach who blitzed into a police investigation of a Aggie footballer Rhyan Anderson’s alleged assault of his girlfriend and showed his knack for aggressive, if slightly illegal defensive schemes. ↵

↵↵⇥According to the report, Grant, a linebackers coach, refused to disclose Anderson’s current location and told police “I’m not going to give you s***,” and later made fun of the victim as she was being treated by paramedics for a laceration above her eye.↵↵Leading by example, that Barris Grant. Grant has been advised that he risks arrests for his actions at the scene. Once this receives some publicity, he also risks never getting so much as a firm hug from any woman with an IQ over 50.↵