General

Let the Seattle-OKC Healing Begin, Part 1

Jul 3, 2008, 2:45 PM UTC

Clay Bennett is the devil. The city of Seattle decided to play chicken rather than admit that Key Arena is a high school gym. They deserve each other, but please fans, let not the seeds of hatred be sown between thee. You are all just fine men and women who crave the basketball.â†µ

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â†µWhat's done is done, and now, let the healing begin. So for those of you in one of these two cities, kindly open up the phone book of your rival city, dial at random, and read the following script.â†µ

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To the Oklahoma City denizen:â†µ
â†µHello, my name is [name] and I live in [neighborhood of Seattle that is five feet from the rest of Seattle]. I have said a lot of nasty things about you and your city over the last few months. I have called you a yahoo, an Okie, a cowboy, and insinuated that you were rewarded a team because Stern still believes in the power of the right.â†µ
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â†µI assume that you have some pretty ugly ideas about me -- that I drink a latte on the toilet, bike to the shower, and make my eggs with solar power. These are all the way of the future, but alas, the future has not yet arrived, so I forgive you calling me an egg-headed dreamer.â†µ
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â†µWith the die cast and settlement done, I want to apologize for conflating you and your city with Clay Bennett. The man should be tarred and feathered, throw in white collar jail, or forced to go on American Idol with no pants on. Him and that McClendon hick. How does someone that artless and stupid become a multi-billionaire, if not through modern-day wildcatting?â†µ
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â†µIn any case, I am ready to accept that that’s not you. You are on the hazy edge of the Sun Belt, which makes you kind of like a folksy cousin of Seattle five years ago. You will now inherit a team that has been pushed into oblivion, and I pity the growing pains that Bennett’s zeal to destroy has set you up for. No child should begin life with broken legs.â†µ
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â†µSo best of luck with your new team, and especially that Durant fella, who did like one interview here his whole rookie year. I hope someday, when he’s the terror of the league, you’ll sit him down and tell him about the other side of the family, the one he’s forgotten about, or been told was dead. The one that tried their darnedest to nurture him in his NBA infancy, but just weren’t given the chance.
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â†µSee Also: Let the Healing Begin, Part 2â†µ

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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