General

The Enumerative: We Couldn’t Care Less

Jul 30, 2008, 9:00 PM UTC

Welcome to our incredibly innovativeâ†µfeature, The Enumerative. Because lists are awesome, plus effectiveâ†µtime killers, in this space we'll provide a top five based loosely onâ†µsomething that has recently occurred in the sporting world. It'sâ†µcompiled by Chris Mottram and Spencer Hall, unless otherwise noted.
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We cannot stand people who say, “I could care less” when referring to things they don’t care about it. If you “could care less,” then that means you care -- at least a little -- about the topic you allegedly hate. No, friends, the correct figure of speech is, “I

couldn't

care less,” which infers that you literally could not care any less.
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â†µWe couldn’t care less about the Brett Favre saga.
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â†µTo that end, here are five current happenings that we have significantly more feelings for the Favre’s future. Which isn’t saying much.
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The World Series of Poker.

We’d rather watch re-runs of last night’sâ†µWSOP event (ESPN2 7-9 PM ET, also on our DVRs) than hear one more word aboutâ†µFavre. And we’ve already seen last night’s WSOP event. But then again,â†µwe’ve already heard every single possible Favre scenario no less thanâ†µ28 times (Did you know that one of the following will occurâ†µsometime between now and infinity: The Packers will release Favre,â†µtrade Favre or keep Favre?! This concept is so difficult to grasp thatâ†µit simply must lead every single sports site/paper/magazine/televisionâ†µprogram until a resolution is reached.) Give us the fat men playingâ†µcards in HD, please.
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Who Gets Auf’d Tonight.

Yeah, that’s right, We watch Project Runway, wanna fight about it? And not only do we watch it, we love it, and we care way more about Blayne and his “neon anything” approach to fashion than we do about what Brett Favre is doing in two months time. Seriously, the guy can add the word “licious” to the end of anything – verb, noun or adjective? Seriously. As in, “FavreIsSoDebbieDesperate-licious”. That’s impressive. Plus, there’s Tim Gunn making it work. He has more charisma in his pedicured left pinky toe than Favre has in his entire indecisive body. â†µ

â†µThe X-Games. Braaaaaaaah! The only Games that really matter are back tomorrow night, and they’re bound for epicness. While Favre’s busy figuring out for which team he’ll be throwing untimely interceptions -- yet just enough touchdowns to appease the people -- next season, dudes will be getting stoked on competitions such as ... well ... um ... we can’t name any X-Games competitions. But, we can tell you this: That little heady brah who got righteous on that massive halfpipe last year is gonna do it again! So there’s that, which is more than enough to leave the Favre saga in the dust.â†µ

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â†µA 44-Pound Cat, Dude.

We care about that way more than the Favre story, if only because we have a passion for pushing the envelope of just how fat we can make our pets. (The 45 pound cat is just around the corner. We can feel it!) The article quotes Deborah Wright, a shelter volunteer and current foster owner of the kitty, as saying, “She’s built like a quarterback.” Incorrect. This 44-pounder is built like Casey Hampton. A typical 10-pound housecat is built like a quarterback. Like Favre, you could say. Because typical 10-pound housecats are needy, attention-craving little drama queens that make you wanna gauge your eyeballs out. â†µ

â†µThe Nation of Bhutan. The peaceful mountain kingdom is the only nation in the world that actually wrote a Good Samaritan clause into its constitution. Its capital is Thimpu, and it's one of the most mountainous countries in the world, with a high point at Kula Kangri, a Himalayan peak over 7,000 meters above sea level! All of this is far more interesting than Brett Favre at this point. Oh, and the leading cause of death is bacterial and protozoal diarrhea. Bacterial diarrhea never threw six INTs in one playoff game.â†µ

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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