General

How Dare You Suggest Canceling the Georgia-Alabama Game Just to Conserve Gasoline

Sep 26, 2008, 2:45 PM UTC

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â†µFor those of you not currently residing in the southeastern quadrant of these United States, you may be unaware that we’re having a gas crisis down here. And by that, I mean that the gas stations don’t have gas. This is fine by me because my commute consists of driving a total of two miles a day, thus I can make a tank of gas last approximately one full season. Others, however, have been telling horror stories of waiting in line for gas for hours at the lone station where they finally found fuel, only to either a) ironically run out of gas while waiting to fill up, b) have the station run out of fuel before they can fill up after spending half their day waiting. Sounds horrible.â†µâ†µPresumably, this gas shortage is also effecting Georgia in the same way it’s affecting us here in North Carolina. So an idea was proposed to help conserve what precious petrol is left in the state: Cancel the Alabama-Georgia game tomorrow night. This would spare all the fuel that fans all over SEC country would otherwise burn up during their quest for Athens. â†µ

â†µâ†µThe governor of Georgia, however, finds this idea just plain stupid, because let’s face it, nothing -- not even the threat of people being stranded in their homes when their cars are rendered useless -- is more important in the Peach State than Dawg football:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥“The governor is not going to consider a ridiculous idea like this,” said Bert Brantley, spokesman for Gov. Sonny Perdue.â†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥“We’re also not going to stop living our lives. People understand there are common-sense things they can do.”â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥Georgians, he said, would rise to the occasion to help conserve gas. â†µâ‡¥

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They’re rising to the occasion to conserve gas by ... driving for miles and miles to see a football game? Makes sense. Here are the other ways in which we’ve been informed the state of Georgia intends to do its part in fuel conservation:â†µâ†µ-- Residents will let their IROCs, or other American muscle car of choice, run on 12-hour cycles in the front yard just to “hear that baby purr.”â†µ

â†µâ†µ-- Everyone shall drive their SUVs with the windows down and AC on blast to get “the best of both worlds.”â†µ

â†µâ†µ-- Fans will use dozens of gallons of gas to create the state’s largest bonfire, in which they’ll burn cardboard cut-outs of every ESPN college football personality for not recognizing Knowshon’s leaping run in their highlight reels. â†µ

â†µâ†µ-- Georgians will also conserve by drinking gasoline with dinner only and not three meals a day as usualâ†µ

â†µâ†µ-- Spencer Hall will continue to drive several miles a day despite working from home as a sports blogger simply because the irresistible siren song of a Chik-Fil-A gets you in your car. DON’T JUDGE ME.â†µ

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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