Words by Vince Grzegorek, who usually blogs over at FirstCuts, but will occasionally grace us with his presence here on TSB.↵
Derek Anderson’s Execrable 2008 So Bad, It Might Literally Starve Dogs
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A cool community initiative will be launched this Sunday when the Browns and Bengals square off. Iams has partnered with the SPCA of Cincinnati and the Cleveland Animal Protective League for the Iams Home 4 the Holidays contest, and it works thusly: Derek Anderson and Carson Palmer will compete for completions. Every animal adopted from their respective cities counts as one complete pass, as does each real forward pass that safely finds a receiver's hands. As the press release states:↵
↵↵⇥“The quarterback with the most overall ‘completions’ (total number of completed passes plus animal adoptions from their designated shelter) will be declared the winner of the “Cats versus Dawgs” [get it!?] competition. But the shelters themselves are the real winner as throughout the 12-week program, Iams will pledge 10 pounds of pet food to each quarterback’s designated shelter for every completed pass on the football field.”↵↵If you know anything about the Browns whatsoever, you can see how this might present a problem for the Cleveland animal shelter. Anderson is on the verge of hitting the bench after posting the league’s worst quarterback rating in the first three games. He’s gotten the temporary vote of confidence this week and will start against the Bengals, but by all indications Romeo has emphasized the temporary nature of that notion. Brady’s coming, it’s just a matter of how soon.↵↵So based on last year’s Pro-Bowl statistics, Iams and the SPCA probably assumed Anderson might complete somewhere around 240 passes in the next 12 weeks (the duration of the contest). That would translate to roughly 2,400 pounds of free dog food donated to the Cleveland shelter (about 2,300 once you factor in drops from Braylon Edwards). In reality, there’s a better than likely chance that Anderson buckles under pressure of Quinn-in-the-wings Sunday, gets his short chain yanked sometime during the game, and plays clipboard holder while his understudy takes every snap for the rest of the season.↵
↵↵Which would mean about 100 pounds of dog food donated to the Cleveland shelter depending on how often Anderson accurately throws to the ground in his limited action ... instead of 2,400. Derek Anderson hates dogs. The Cleveland shelter has every right to release the hounds and let them feast on D.A.‘s carcass since apparently there won’t be anything else to eat thanks to him.↵
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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.
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