There Are Many Things You’d Learn About Cris Carter, If You’d Only Ask

I don’t really have any issue with Cris Carter using the more effeminate spelling of the name we share, or being so ignorant about blogging that he’d threaten Will Leitch, or even wearing women’s glasses. All those things can slide. But what he said on ESPN yesterday just really, really infuriates me! ↵↵Actually, that’s not true, what he said doesn’t bother me either. But it was rather hilarious, which serves our purposes here nicely:↵

↵↵⇥“Matt Millen – do a little undercover work. (Mike) Williams and Charlie Rogers both worked out with me before the draft. I could have told him, don’t draft neither one of them. (He) never asked me.”↵↵That quote, in and of itself, isn’t hilarious, aside from the fact that he’s paid to speak and he uses double negatives. Here’s what makes it funny: Carter, in fact, lumped high praise on both Williams and Rogers before Millen drafted them in ’05 and ’03, respectively.↵↵On Williams, Carter said the following to the Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel:↵

↵↵⇥“I think he’s going to be a great player. I think people will be surprised at the kind of person he is. He’s really a hard worker. He takes his training very seriously and wants to be very good.”↵↵

Hmmm, that sure doesn’t sound like a guy you wouldn’t wanna draft. And on Rogers, he told this to the St. Paul Pioneer Press:↵↵⇥“He’s very similar – and I don’t like to make a lot of comparisons – to Randy (Moss) in a sense, a big basketball player playing wide receiver. He’s the only receiver that’s come out since Randy that you can make an honest comparison to. He has a yearning to learn.”↵↵Cris Carter would also like you to know that the allegations of him signing with an agent in 1987 before his senior year at Ohio State were never proven, and he went on to lead the Buckeyes to a National Championship. He also won the Heisman that season, quarterbacked the Giants to a Super Bowl win over the Broncos, completed the first successful heart-lung transplant, played rhythm guitar on the recording of Appetite For Destruction, and led Congress’ investigation into the Iran-Contra affair. But you wouldn’t know all that ‘cause you never asked him.
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