Mary Jane Still Ricky Williams’ Cruel Temptress

Smoking pot is a horrible, horrible thing to do, kids. It’s a gateway drug that leads to other self-destructive behavior such as eating pepperoni Hot Pockets with peanut butter and watching eight episodes of MXC back-to-back. Oh, and you’ll end up doing crystal meth in no time, just ask any high school guidance councilor. These are all things you’d never want other people to see you doing. This is why we don’t smoke pot. Nope, never have, never will. ↵↵Ricky Williams, however, loves the ganja and would be quick to tell you his favorite episode of MXC is Sexual Pioneers vs. Violent films, a daring yet respectable choice. But ever since returning to the NFL, his buzz has been killed by The Man. The temptation, however, to smoke pot and do nothing is still strong with Williams:↵

↵↵⇥Williams, in the NFL’s substance-abuse program since 2002 and having tested positive four times, said Monday he was briefly tempted to smoke marijuana while the Dolphins had their bye weekend.↵⇥↵⇥Williams said the extra free time was the primary reason for the temptation.↵⇥

↵⇥↵⇥“Most definitely,” Williams said. “It’s greater because, like, Thursday, coach told us we had Friday off, so automatically your mind, which is so constrained since training camp began -- every day is a grind, it’s a grind, it’s a grind -- and then Coach says ‘you’re free.’ And the mind says, ‘I’m free, what can I do?’”↵⇥

↵↵So, what did Ricky do with his freedom instead of smokin’ down? Get drunk, duh. Wait, no. That’s what we do when we’re free from work. Ricky took a more spiritual approach, man, by doing some meditation until the urge passed him by. We’d try that method, too, but it’s hard to sit still when you have the shakes.↵