Another Open Letter to Ron Artest

Hey Ron Ron,↵
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↵Hope things are good with you. Same old with me. Take the Mazda to get some cereal, then I’m back on my grind.↵
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↵I’m writing because I’m worried about you, my man. Well, also worried↵about what you might do to me. I don’t want to be hurt again.
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↵Nah, just playing. You know I’ve had your back since before Auburn↵Hills, and couldn’t be more stoked about you joining the Lakers. Maybe↵you won’t replace Trevor Ariza move for spindly move, but man alive,↵you’re Ron Artest. And you’re playing for peanuts.
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↵It’s a drag, though, that everyone’s already wondering about your head.↵Will you listen to Phil, fall in line, talk with your defense and not↵your fists, do the right thing, be a good boy, not let down all those↵new fans who hated you last year, you know, real stuff. I guess I see↵where they’re coming from—well, if I hadn’t really↵paid attention to your career, and went on wire reports alone, I↵would—since you’ve done some weird stuff. But above all, you play when↵it matters. A lot of your failure is cosmetic.
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