General

This Week In Schadenfreude: Nov. 23

Nov 23, 2009, 7:40 PM UTC

â†µLes Miles won a national championship two years ago, but inâ†µLSU’s loss to Ole Miss, he let 17 seconds run off theâ†µclock before a fourth and forever play, converted that fourth andâ†µforever play with one second left, directed his quarterback to spike the ball, saw theâ†µgame end on that spike, and denied he knew who called for the spike inâ†µthe aftermath. Now he’s as close to a firing as you can get for someone who had a crystal football above his head two years ago. â†µ

â†µâ†µI mean, when you run across a post like this ...â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥<â†µâ‡¥strong>Miles!!!! (Posted on 11/23/09 at 8:48â†µâ‡¥a.m.)â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥WTF? â†µ

â†µâ†µ... and think to yourself only “yep, that’s about right,”â†µit’s bad. â†µ

â†µâ†µHow bad is it? Bad:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥We need someone young and famousâ†µâ‡¥to die real quickâ†µâ‡¥(Posted on 11/23/09 at 8:12 a.m.)â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥to get every fricking tv channel in the free worldâ†µâ‡¥to quit talking about how stupid our coaching staff is. â†µâ‡¥ â†µ

â†µâ†µYou know it’s bad when an actual newspaper columnist says theâ†µoffensive coaches are “remaking ‘Dumb and Dumber’.”â†µ

â†µâ†µMore from the wild message board west:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥All that anyone needs to know about Miles is this. Even Houston Nuttâ†µâ‡¥was sitting there laughing at how stupid our coaches were late in theâ†µâ‡¥game. Houston Nutt????????????????â†µâ†µâ†µLater in that thread someone calls Miles an “overpaid ambiguityâ†µspitter” when things are going poorly, which is a fantasticâ†µdescription for not only Miles but every other coach on the planet.â†µ

â†µâ†µAnd some weird lingo:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥We currently have the most ineptâ†µâ‡¥coaching staff in the SECâ†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥I would say the entire nation, but i thinkâ†µâ‡¥our defensive staff is probably better than most. ...â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥This is disheartening as it is depressing...it all starts from theâ†µâ‡¥top.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥This program has THE WANT of a new coach.â†µâ‡¥

â†µâ†µâ†µAs we’ll see later, it’s a day for weird lingo in the SEC. As forâ†µMiles, nothing less than an SEC title next year saves hisâ†µjob, he’s already done, they’re organizing the opposite of the Million Miles March from two yearsâ†µago, he’s Chris Webber, he somehow makes $40k per IQ point, which could still make himâ†µa super genius.â†µ

â†µâ†µYeah: LSU, easy Tears of Unfathomable Sadness winnerâ†µthis week. The rest of the week in spleen after the jump. â†µ

â†µ

â†µBIG TEN

â†µâ†µIt’s never wise to wager facial hair on your team when your teamâ†µis Michigan State and the other team is Penn State:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥So now I have to look like a dumb****â†µâ‡¥with a mustacheâ†µâ‡¥...because I wagered that over the PSUâ†µâ‡¥game.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥I wagered myself vs two PSU fans for the “Land Grantâ†µâ‡¥Mustache.” The loser has to grow/keep a mustache for 2 weeks.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥This year I lost, but I basically have 2:1 odds going forward. Amâ†µâ‡¥I an idiot or was this a good idea?â†µâ†µâ†µFrom everyone else’s perspective, it’s a fantastic idea. Also itâ†µcan’t be uglier than the Land Grant trophy. â†µ

â†µNOTRE DAME

â†µâ†µNotre Dame all but sealed Charlie Weis’ fate whenâ†µUConn scored a rushing touchdown that was not called back by a terribleâ†µholding flag, and several in the Nation are giving up on life andâ†µdeclaring one of three options to be the only acceptable outcome (emphasis mine):â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥We love a team on itsâ†µâ‡¥deathbed.â†µâ‡¥You tell me, if your child were inâ†µâ‡¥crisis, would you call the Mayo Clinic or a pediatrician from Davenportâ†µâ‡¥who claimed to love kids more than anyone else?â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Quit f------ around with my football team. You f---- handed someâ†µâ‡¥schmuck alumnus a job he didn’t deserve. What did he do with it? Heâ†µâ‡¥proved he didn’t deserve it. He ruined college careers in the process,â†µâ‡¥and he flushed your millions down the toilet.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Quit f------ around. You can choose from three names.â†µâ‡¥Don’t deliver the fourth. Bob, Nick, Urban. Oh, you’re pissedâ†µâ‡¥about 2004? He didn’t tell you about his Florida job? What’s moreâ†µâ‡¥important -- you precious sense of decency, or the careers of theâ†µâ‡¥student-athletes entrusted to your care? F--- your pride. He can’t leaveâ†µâ‡¥Alabama for less than $6m/yr? Pay it.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥This s--- stops now. ND is a joke. Get serious.â†µâ†µâ†µAnd lest anyone think this opinion is not widespread:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥A poster the otherâ†µâ‡¥day said it all, We are the Yankees...â†µâ‡¥of college football. Make Urbanâ†µâ‡¥Meyer or Stoops an offer they can’t refuse. I’m talking a million or twoâ†µâ‡¥more than what they currently make. And if they do, then you go afterâ†µâ‡¥Kelly, etc. It’s not that complicated, is it?â†µâ†µâ†µNo, it’s not that complicated:â†µ

â†µâ†µNOTRE DAME: Bob. Urban. We propose that you meldâ†µinto one uber-coach named Urbob and take over the Yankees of collegeâ†µfootball. It will be like Voltron except ethical.â†µ
â†µURBOB: USC?â†µ
â†µNOTRE DAME: We’re the Yankees of collegeâ†µfootball.â†µ
â†µURBOB: Are you now? That’s cute.â†µ
â†µNOTRE DAME: So what do you say?â†µ
â†µURBOB: No. I realize you are a university andâ†µthis is therefore physically impossible, but you are high.â†µ
â†µNOTRE DAME: I guess I’ll hire these pinkâ†µelephants, then. â†µ

â†µâ†µAnd some emo for the road:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥We may have justâ†µâ‡¥witnessed the end of our program. Not sureâ†µâ‡¥we will ever be to deliver what weâ†µâ‡¥expect or want. Maybe we need to change or expectations, not change theâ†µâ‡¥coach.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Not sure anyone is going to be able to fix this, or even want toâ†µâ‡¥try!â†µâ†µâ†µThat guy has been banned to the deepest levels of Nation hell, noâ†µdoubt, where he is chewed in one of Pete Carroll’s three mouths next toâ†µTy Willingham and Bob Davie. â†µ

â†µACC

â†µâ†µNC State thought they had a good coach when theyâ†µpirated a peer institution’s top guy, but the Wolfpack languish at 1-6â†µin the league after another lopsided defeat to Virginia Tech, and the knives are out. Resigned knives, though:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥Our BOT [board of trustees] members have no pride, other thanâ†µâ‡¥Woodward no NCSU administrator has any pride - what do you think willâ†µâ‡¥happen?â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥NOTHINGâ†µâ†µâ†µI love it when decisions come down to people way more successful thanâ†µ“lumberpack3” being simpering jackaninnies incapable of doingâ†µwhat must be done. At this point NC State fans have lived through failedâ†µcoach after failed coach, and not even canning the top guy brings relief:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥And have Fowler lead another search? No thanks. I’m in favor ofâ†µâ‡¥canning him though.â†µâ†µâ†µSame theme:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥Who is going to find that coach? Fowler? Get real.â†µâ†µâ†µSame theme, more paranoia:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥The mass changes at our university need to start at the BOT level.â†µâ‡¥However, the corruption and cronyism at the highest levels of NC Stateâ†µâ‡¥is so entrenched, I don’t think there’s anything those of us at theâ†µâ‡¥grassroots level can do...except cut off the money, which I’ve alreadyâ†µâ‡¥decided to do. Maybe in my lifetime NC State can return to what it wasâ†µâ‡¥in the ‘70s.â†µâ†µâ†µEtc.â†µ

â†µBIG EAST

â†µâ†µJust a few years ago, no one would bat an eye atâ†µRutgers losing to Syracuse. Or losing to anyone,â†µreally. It’s a tribute to Greg Schiano that disappointment can actuallyâ†µcoexist with Rutgers football. But it does: â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥Anthony Davis? Dead to me. Let him go and steal money from some NFLâ†µâ‡¥team. Talent only goes so far. Rutgers would be better off with Forst orâ†µâ‡¥Stapes, or anyone who actually gives a damn when the games aren’t onâ†µâ‡¥ESPN prime time. ...â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Now, if you will excuse me, I can’t type any longer as men in whiteâ†µâ‡¥coats just kicked down the front door, and are securing the restraintsâ†µâ‡¥and straight jacket as I type this very sentence. Hopefully, they canâ†µâ‡¥take me off to a happy and magical place where I can forget all aboutâ†µâ‡¥the events that just transpired.â†µâ†µâ†µUnfortunately, when you’re a 7-3 Big East team, that magicalâ†µplace is Toronto.â†µ

â†µBIG 12

â†µâ†µOklahoma fans are resorting to sarcastic successories posters in theâ†µaftermath of a 41-13 housing by Texas Tech:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ†µ

â†µâ†µBut wait, there’s more! â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥
Absolutely Pathetic
â†µâ‡¥This is getting really old, really fast. Listening toâ†µâ‡¥"overrated" chants from mediocre, mid-major student sections.â†µâ‡¥Watching our teams come completely unraveled in big games, underâ†µâ‡¥adversity, or on the road. "Choke-lahoma"? I'm sorry, but atâ†µâ‡¥this point I would have to absolutely agree with that nickname.â†µ

â†µâ†µNot sure how you choke in a 28-point loss, but seriously folks,â†µthey’re angry in Norman, and the failure doesn’t stop at football’sâ†µedge. The men’s basketball team gets the facepalm gif as they got housedâ†µat VCU 82-69. And we’re back to the pride thing again:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥It’s all about pride.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Play with some pride Sooners! Play like you want to win the games!â†µâ‡¥Play with some intensity for once!â†µâ†µâ†µStop refusing to try, you goofs!â†µ

â†µPAC-10

â†µâ†µVirtually nothing soul-destroying happened in the Pac-10 this week.â†µStanford did gack up a two-touchdown lead against Cal,â†µbut they did that after back-to-back wins over Oregon and USC, soâ†µStanford fans are generally in Harbaugh’s corner. Right?â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥
WHAT IT WILL TAKE...
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥... TO WIN A TITLE. â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥STANFORD COULDN'T STOP KAL, OSU, OREGON OR ARIZONA. A CHAMPIONSHIPâ†µâ‡¥TEAM NEEDS TO DO MORE THAN SCORE A BUNCH OF POINTS. â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥SPEED EXPOSES STANFORD. DUH. ... â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥SADLY, IT DOESN'T LOOK MUCH BRIGHTER NEXT YEAR. â†µ

â†µâ†µ... than this year, when the team went from 4-8 to an eight- orâ†µnine-winâ†µseason with a blowout of USC? You’re Stanford! You can’t admit anyoneâ†µthat wouldn’t actually get in to virtually any school that’s notâ†µStanford!â†µ

â†µSEC

â†µâ†µGeorgia’s endured an unexpected dip this year, andâ†µit’s shorted out the brain cells of various bloggers. The Georgia Sportsâ†µBlog envisions a new sort of biblical plague:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥
LOOKâ†µâ‡¥AT THE WEEDEATERS FALLING FROM THE SKY!
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥You shipment of fail has arrived. Look at the weed eaters fallingâ†µâ‡¥from the sky! I'm too pissed to type, and I'm too annoyed to read anyoneâ†µâ‡¥else's rants either. Shreveport here we come.â†µ

â†µâ†µI hope this was as delightfully impenetrable for everyone else. Aâ†µgoogling turns up a reference to the Poulan Weedeater Bowl made by UGAâ†µradio icon Larry Munson, so ... yeah. There you go. Shreveport.â†µWeedeaters raining from the sky. Cats and dogs living together. Mass hysteria. Theâ†µGeorgia Sports Blog gets to be Scott Tenormanâ†µof the Week for introducing us to weedeaters and lingo.â†µ

â†µâ†µElsewhere in Dawg misery, Get The Picture feels very A Clockwork Orange about all this:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥There were times in the second half when it felt as if we wereâ†µâ‡¥watching a controlled experiment - you know, what would it be like ifâ†µâ‡¥you combined the craven mindset Georgia often has when it plays Floridaâ†µâ‡¥with a lack of focus against a clearly inferior opponent? Well,â†µâ‡¥four turnovers later, you get a staggering 34-27 loss despite outgainingâ†µâ‡¥the other team by a mere 227 yards.â†µâ†µâ†µKyle King, for his part, declares Chicken Little an optimist.â†µ

â†µ

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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