The Alphabetical, Week 10: In Which The Polls Live In 2004

A is for Agartha. A mythical land posited as a kind of subterranean version of Atlantis by occultists at the turn of the 19th century in the 20th. According to the 1908 novel The Smoky God by Willis George Edmondson, you can get there by sailing to the North Pole and looking for a big hole. Sail into that hole, and you will find a mythical land with its own sun and a network of underground colonies inhabited by 12 foot tall people who inhabit the original Shangri-La. (Makes wanking motion with hand.)

USC, after losing to a 3-6 Washington team and Oregon, now sits ahead in the BCS standings of the same Ducks team that beat the brakes off them in Eugene last weekend. If you see any kind of logic in this, then we have a map to Agartha we will sell you for the low price of $22.8 million dollars to the penny. Get in on the bidding early, however. If AP and Coaches’ Poll voters are the blindly faithful sort we think they are, that price is going up, and both will be sailing north looking for Agartha and the underground ghosts of 12 foot tall USC 2004.