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Come Fan with UsSaturday, June 20, 2026

Renaming The World Cup Groups

“Group of Death” is so, so over. It’s time for the new slang as we rename each group from today’s World Cup Draw by the things they have in common.

↵Group A: South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay, France.

↵“Group Of Nations With Stripey Flags”

↵Group B: Argentina, Nigeria, South Korea, and Greece.

↵“Group Smelling Most Strongly Of Garlic”

↵Group C: England, United States, Algeria, and Slovenia.

↵“The Group of Countries Who Have Been Involved In Horrible, Bloody Civil Wars.”

↵Group D: Germany, Australia, Serbia, Ghana.

↵“Group Most Likely To Survive a Global Thermonuclear War”

↵Group E: Netherlands, Denmark, Japan, Cameroon.

↵“Group of Least Possible Onfield Spoken Communication.”

↵Group F: Italy, Paraguay, New Zealand, Slovakia.

↵“Group Of Lactose Tolerance.”

↵Group G: Brazil, North Korea, Cote d’Ivoire, and Portugal.

↵“Group Prone to Dictatorship.”

↵Group H: Spain, Switzerland, Honduras, Chile.

↵“Group That Will Throw A Game For Good Ham”

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