Klitschko vs. Haye: They Don’t Get Along, So They Got to Get It On

Oh man, the June 20th heavyweight title fight between WBO/IBF champ Wladimir Klitschko and David Haye is shaping to be a great one for the annals of trash-talk. The official presser to announce the fight was held today in London, and Haye continued his bad-taste, high-entertainment-value taunting of Klitschko, even tagging Wlad with a new moniker that I’m embarrassed to say that in, all my years of dissing Klitschko in print, I’d never once thought of – “Bitchko.”
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↵“Yes I have a personal dislike for Wladimir,” Haye said, wearing a t-shirt (pictured) that bore pictures of the severed heads of both Klitschko brothers, Wladimir and Vitali. “He sucks, he’s crap. I don’t like his style. I don’t like what he represents. He doesn’t entertain. Yes he’s a gentleman but you should judge a fighter on what he does once the bell rings, not what he does outside the ring. He doesn’t give value for money, like I do. He’s embarrassing, everything he does in the ring is embarrassing. I want him to fight like a man, not run like a bitch. Stand and fight me Wladimir Bitchko!”
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For his part, Wlad took yet another page out of his career-long pursuit of The Heavyweight Championship of Boring by expressing hurt and outrage. “Now I see Haye with a cut off head of my brother, my family member,” Wlad said. “What’s going to be next? My dad’s head? My mother’s head? Will he attack my religion, my race? This is over the edge - it’s not sport.”
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↵Wlad did vow to punish Haye slowly and painfully for his behavior, saying that “after 12 rounds he will be a pizza face.” It must be added, though, that when you’re firing back at a guy who is publicly vowing to behead you, mentioning that you plan to win a convincing unanimous decision over his sorry ass is not exactly bound to strike fear into his heart.
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↵I’ve said before right here at TSB that this fight was going to have major implications for the future of boxing, and I’ve met with skepticism with that assertion, primarily because most of you sweet scientists out there doubt whether Haye has the mettle to match his magnificent mouth.
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↵I’m prepared to admit that could be true. But I stick to my guns – he’s handsome, he’s got knockout power, and he’s laying it all on the line in this fight in a major way. And that is all adding up to the first heavyweight fight in seven fricking years that anybody anywhere gave a crap about. As of today, 47,000 tickets have been sold for the fight, which is being held at Germany’s Veltins Arena. Home of the soccer club, FC Schalke, the arena seats upward of 70,000 at capacity, and right now it looks sure to be a sellout.
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↵Every one of those fans will there to see Klitschko wash David Haye’s mouth out with blood. Should Haye manage an upset, however, and deliver (heavens to Betsy!) the crushing knockout that he’s promised (and there’s at least a reasonable possibility of this happening given his power and Wlad’s notoriously suspect chin) then he instantly will find himself on the front of sports pages around the world, and come June 21st, the boxing landscape will have changed mightily. With all the talk lately about whether Manny Pacquiao can succeed Oscar De La Hoya as boxing’s next crossover superstar, David Haye has snuck into the midst of that conversation, putting himself in position to contend for that crown come June. All he needs to do to pull it off is land that one perfect punch…↵