Chicago WRs: Too Busy Proving Donald Driver Right to Read Donald Driver’s Comments

The player at right might be starting at wideout for da Bears this season. He’s all yours, Chicago; enjoy!
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↵Donald Driver had harsh words -- harsh words indeed! -- for the state of the passing game in the rest of the NFC North earlier this week. To wit:
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↵“I think Chicago did a great job, and Lovie Smith went out there and got Jay Cutler to lead this team, but one thing they don’t have is they don’t have the receiver group,” Driver said. “They have the running back, they have the offensive line and they have a great defense. But you’re going to have to need receivers to make plays down the field, and they don’t have that right now.
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↵You know what that sounds like? WAR! Facts. To wit, the Bears’ top wide receiver was, before signing with Denver last month, Brandon Lloyd. Brandon Lloyd might be the single most ruinous No. 1 receiver in the past 15 years. He single-handedly destroyed the careers of Patrick Ramsey and Tim Rattay before infecting Alex Smith with FAIL. He makes Tampa Bay’s Alvin Harper look like Dallas’ Alvin Harper. His Madden 2010 rating is “LOL.” I typed “Brandon Lloyd” into Google and clicked “I’m feeling lucky,” and my computer burst into flames.
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↵And now? The Bears WR corps is worse off without him. The Bears’ depth chart includes a traffic cone and an elderly woman with Alzheimer’s (and whose family is very worried about her and wants her home this instant, were it not for the Bears signing her to a three-year, $14 million deal).
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If we had to guess at the starters, it would be Earl Bennett, whoever the hell he is, and the horror show that is Starting Mediocre Rookie Wide Receiver, in the form of Juaquin Iglesias*. Jay Cutler’s going to start firing his passes directly at Lovie Smith’s beautiful, shiny head out of frustration.
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↵Driver also went after the Vikings’ passing game, for obvious reasons:↵↵⇥⇥And then you go back to look at Minnesota. Minnesota has a great running game, but they just don’t have the top-of-the-line quarterback that they need. So I’m hoping my guy doesn’t go over there, but if he does then I wish the best for him.↵↵Here, this is less inflammatory, unless you’re willing to believe anybody in Minnesota is willing to come to blows defending the honor of Tarvaris Jackson or Sage Rosenfels. And then, yes, Driver refers to “my guy,” which is certainly less of a mouthful than our preferred nickname, “He Who Should Not Be Named.”
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↵And true, My Guy may be coming back, though whether he qualifies as “top-of-the-line” is debatable. Not obviously true or false, merely debatable. Great during the first 12 weeks of the season, sure, but that’s not when it really matters.
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↵*There’s one more possibility here, and that is that Devin Hester will be asked to continue derailing his career by starting at WR. If the Bears do this, Cutler will have to be put on suicide watch.↵