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There’s a New World’s Tallest Man: Alert NBA GMs Everywhere

Sep 17, 2009, 2:45 PM UTC

The Associated Press is reporting that the Guinness World Records now recognizes 8-foot-1 Sultan Kosen, from Turkey, as the tallest man on the planet. NBA GMs, you may begin to salivate. It’s a shame, though, because Kosen hopes to find love, not basketball, with his newfound fame:â†µâ†µâ‡¥“Up until now, it’s been really difficult to find a girlfriend,” Kosen said. “I’ve never had one; they were usually scared of me. ... Hopefully now that I’m famous, I’ll be able to meet lots of girls. I’d like to get married.”â†µâ†µâ†µYou know who has no trouble meeting women, Sultan? The average NBA basketball player, that’s who. There are plenty of seven-footers in NBA history, and we bet none of those cats had any trouble snagging a little tail. Just look at this completely incomplete list of seven-footers, placed in order by metric height. None of them is taller than 2.31 meters, which converts to ... carry the two ... seven feet, seven inches.â†µ

â†µâ†µIn fact, look at this list of the tallest players in NBA history. You’d be six inches taller than any of them! And sure we remember Sun Mingming, the Chinese center who came to America with much fanfare but was unable to make it to the NBA. But he was on Jimmy Kimmel. And he was in Rush Hour 3. You don’t think he got women after those two appearances? And he’s only 7-feet-9. Imagine what breaking the eight-foot barrier would do for the NBA!â†µ

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â†µIt seems that every team has at least one seven-footer on their roster. Heck, the Lakers have three! But nobody has ever boasted an eight-footer. So what if you need crutches to walk – I'm sure the NBA will allow that if they are team colors and have an NBA logo on them. It worked for headbands. â†µ

â†µâ†µI know what you’re thinking – if Kosen just became the World’s Tallest Man, I shouldn’t be making light of the fact that it would stand to reason that the previous WTM has passed on. That’s not the case. Former World’s Tallest Man, Leonid Stadnyk of Ukraine, has been reportedly measured at 8-5 1/2, but was stripped of his title when Guinness was unable to confirm his height. â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥Stadnyk, 39, said he refused to be independently measured because he was tired of being in the public eye.â†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥“If I have to choose between prosperity and calm, I choose calm,” he said.â†µâ‡¥

â†µâ†µâ†µThis guy was prosperous just because he was tall and he’s giving it all up. Talk about your navel gazing ... in that anyone standing next to him would likely be staring at his navel. But if Stadnyk doesn’t want to be in the spotlight anymore, the time is right for Kosen, the not-actually-but-now-recognized Tallest Man in the World. Now smack a Utah Jazz jersey on the guy and let’s find him a lady.â†µ

â†µâ†µ(H/T to â†µDetroit Voice)â†µ

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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