The Many Faces of the New York Knicks

What does that mean? How we can we put that in perspective? Why, analogies, of course!

1. Krypto-Nate. Let’s think about this: Nate Robinson is sort of an anomaly to NBA fans. He emerged out of nowhere, at least partly as a sideshow-like curiosity. Even at the University of Washington, he was known more for his dimunitive stature--and ridiculous athleticism--than any real production on the court. Out of high school, he was higher ranked as football player, and even played on UW’s football team during his freshman year in Seattle (and picked off a pass that ultimately helped beat a no. 3 Washington State team in the Apple Cup).

On the basketball court, though, everyone noticed him not for his play, but for his height. “How could that guy be a big time player?” people wondered. Which is why he’s the basketball version of comedian Andy Milonakis. Not sure who that is? From Milonakis’ Wikipedia:

“Andrew Michael “Andy” Milonakis (born January 30, 1976) is an American comedian and actor who played the role of a young boy on his television show, The Andy Milonakis Show, which was played on MTV and MTV2 channels. Milonakis has a congenital growth-hormone condition that gives him the outward appearance and voice of an adolescent boy, when he is in fact an adult.”

Now, keep in mind: I’m not trying to (for lack of a better word) belittle Nate, here. Andy Milonakis has done some pretty hilarious things over the years. His MTV show left a bit to be desired, but his work on The Man Show and for Jimmy Kimmel Live was absolutely awesome. As comedians go, that’s more than 98% can say for themselves. Most comedians these days are reduced to recording YouTube videos and playing seven minute sets in dimly lit comedy clubs. Milonakis has far surpassed his peers, in that respect.

Still, when it comes down to it, Milonakis’ defining feature is still his appearance. The “gimmick,” if you will: he’s a foul-mouthed jerk in the body of a portly eleven year-old. And that gimmick only goes so far. For instance, he was perfect for those spots on Kimmel and The Man Show, but when asked to carry his own show? Not so much. Could he ever carry a movie? Highly unlikely.

He’s talented, ungodly athletic, and all things considered, pretty good. But he’s never going to be a team’s star, and he’ll always be best known for piquing our curiosity with his pint-sized appearance. He’s the NBA’s Andy Milonakis--good in a supporting role, but sort of a reach for anything more than that. This is why neither the Knicks nor anyone else was willing to pay big money for him this summer. Who wants to pay $30 million for the Andy Milonakis Show?

2. Which brings us to David Lee. One thing to remember with David Lee is that unlike some of the other New York Knicks, he was putting up strangely compelling numbers before Mike D’Antoni ever arrived in New York City. He was averaging a double-double for two years before D’Antoni got there, and in his second year in the league, he had a PER above 20. And if he were to go elsewhere, his numbers would continue to confound us. He doesn’t look like someone that should make a difference in an NBA game. But he does.

Depending on who you ask, it’s either “he’s AWESOME!”, or, “I don’t care what you say, David Lee is NOT good.” And both perspectives hold some merit. David Lee is the NBA’s version of comedian Tracy Morgan.

If you ask him to carry a team, he won’t play any worse, but that team will definitely NOT be good. Evidence? Last year’s 32-win Knicks team, for one. Or Tracy Morgan’s biggest starring role in a movie, “First Sunday.” Both Lee and Morgan are very good, but only when surrounded by people of equal or greater talent. That’s part of why 30 Rock is such a perfect situation for Tracy Morgan--everyone else is just as funny as him, and his lack of depth as an actor is obscured by the hilarity of people like Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin.

By the same token, David Lee is incapable of creating for himself on the low block--most of his buckets come as garbage points--and his rebounding only goes so far if nobody else can provide the offense. With Morgan, the same goes for his insane antics. That’s all hilarious, but if nobody’s speaking in complete sentences, the show or movie just won’t be watchable. He can’t carry a show himself, but with a few people that can carry things, someone like Tracy Morgan is freaking invalauable.

And Lee’s rebounding would have helped them tremendously--or any good team, really. He’s like a better version of Paul Milsap, only his vaule ultimately suffered because everyone in the league was so divided on his true value. In a league where GMs were terrified to take any risk this offseason, investing in David Lee would have meant dealing with all sorts of backlash from the 50% of the league that doesn’t think he’s any good.

So, naturally, New York got him back for just $8 million on a one-year deal. The rest of the league missed out on a golden opportunity to add a young, productive rebounder that could greatly improve a talented team, and the Knicks get a guy who’s not going to make them a blockbuster, but will at least make them watchable this season.

3. Which isn’t such a bad thing for Knicks fans. Sure they’ve got the NBA’s Andy Milonakis and Tracy Morgan as the dueling pillars of their franchise--and that means they’re virtually guaranteed to miss the playoffs--but damnit if their games won’t be entertaining.

Nate’s showing at last year’s Dunk Contest:

And finally, Tracy Morgan. Possibly NSFW, but definitely hilarious: