ESPN’s new college basketball blogger is Eamonn Brennan, who used to patrol these parts in the evenings. I know Eamonn personally. I know he’s a “pretty chill bro” who has told me on many occasions he takes no issue with college kids storming the court after important regular seasons victories.
Lessons In Court-Storming
↵But even Eamonn has a breaking point.
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On Sunday night, Indiana students rushed the floor after beating … MINNESOTA. This was enough to nudge any hoops fan into full-on get-off-my-lawn-young-man mode:
↵↵Normally, this is where I’d reiterate what you read above. They’re just college kids! They like to have fun! Don’t be a buzzkill, Eamonn! No. Enough of that. These are college kids. They’re adults. They need to take responsibility for their actions. Pretty soon they’ll have to be balancing their checkbooks and shopping for groceries and going to work every day and joining the rest of us in the long inexorable march toward old age. They need to learn the world doesn’t work this way. You can’t ask your roommates to pick up your notes from work if you don’t feel like going. You can’t push your first hour of work back to 11:30 so you can party on weeknights. You can’t eat pizza five days a week and not expect to die at the age of 35. The world has rules, kids. And one of those rules says that if you’re Indiana, or Michigan, or really anywhere, you don’t storm the court for home wins over Minnesota or UConn. You just don’t. You may not like these rules. You may think these rules are “bogus, bro.” But guess what? They’re the rules. In the real world, you live by them, or you fail at life. Bro.
↵↵The reference to Michigan and UConn stems from Wolverine fans storming the court after beating the Huskies Saturday night. That would be the unranked, six-loss, bubble-team Huskies. Learn the rules, bros.
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